another couple of crazy weeks. I do have to call out that it's been about 6 weeks since my dad was referred to hospice. You have to be thankful where you can. Also, I can't stress enough how much the book "Final Journeys" has helped.

So, last week, things take a different turn. My step-mom caught the bug going around. She was self-medicating, etc. She finally gives in and goes to the ER, thinking she would see a doctor, get an RX, and be back home in no time. She was admitted into the hospital with pneumonia, and was there for another 4 days. Luckily, with me working in IT, I was able to work from home the entire week and care for my dad (ok, we watched westerns all week long. I highly recommend Encore Westerns.) I bring this up because I think this is all too common for the primary caregiver to not care for themselves. It's an extremely tough job watching someone 24 hours a day, as they slowly deteriate. Sometimes, though, you have to let things run their course and be there to pick up the pieces... There's no shame in being second-string caregiver (and keep in mind, the care is part of the grieving process.)

So, my dad had the bug the week before. I was glad that hospice did treat it with antibiotics. I was a little concerned that they would say "oh, it's part of the cancer, it's just part of the process." He did really good last week (for where he is.)

Again, I'm back to thinking we're taking some final steps. A couple of things that I've learned;
- People dying of cancer lose weight. They also lose their appetite, this is part of it. Don't keep telling them how much weight they're losing. They know.
- The reason they are losing weight is that the cancer burns the calories faster than your body does. Therefore, the more you feed them, the more you're feeding the cancer. This one is tough, but at this stage is all about comforting the patient. Listen to Hospice on this one.
- I've noticed that there is an increase mucus in the throat. I'm thinking this is part of the cancer taking over. Additionally, as he was suctioning out the mucus today, a piece of his tongue came off. I'm thinking that can't be good.
- This is a tough time for the patient. You're sent home, basically expecting something big to happen. Yet, you get home, and nothing is happening. After a while it starts to get old, I'm sure. On one hand, they don't really want to leave. Yet on the other, this crap of just sitting around kind of sucks. As the caregiver, or even second-string caregiver, just being there is good. Don't sweat about what you're going to talk about, or try to make conversation. Sometimes just being there is enough.

Anyway, I hope this helps someone.

Robin