Trese, ear pain is one of the early symptoms and I remember my dad mentioning it both times. He also mentioned that Pinna (the visible part of the ear) would also have tingling sensation and sometimes would go numb.

Only biopsy could confirm a cancer and if you feel that the lymph node is unusually swollen, you should have a node biopsy (Guided FNAC or excisional). If tongue is asymptomatic as per several ENT and you do have a cancer, lymph node biopsy would help confirming it.

All the best for your diagnosis.