Hi Bonnie

Totally get that John is unwilling to go to restaurants, but if had me as his chief cook, I can guarantee he would rethink his position . The first time Alex and I went out, his first mouthful caused an explosive choke which sprayed me, the waitress and the people at the next table. So horrible for the poor bugger!! We now tuck ourselves into corners with Alex facing away from the rest of the patrons if he plans to try to eat something.

We also go with the expectation that Alex's meal is for show only and the purpose is to get out amongst people to help him feel he is still part of it all. The best places to non-eat are places that have something other than food going on. So Saturday night is at the local sports club with a TV Alex can watch whilst waiting for me to finish eating. Perfect combination really, he gets to watch his beloved football which I hate whilst I get fed. Breakfast is at a local cafe attached to the nursery (plants - Alex doesn't do kids) where he can look at the flowers and listen in on the other patrons' discussions about pests, fertilisers and watering requirements.

I had friends over for a meal recently after watching Alex handle wonton soup quite well. I had this brilliant idea of a broth fondue with wontons. This way, Alex could join in the making of the wontons, eat a couple and then faff around without actually eating anything more. Once again, the best laid plans .... first wonton and he choked. I hadn't done the mince finely enough. Luckily our friends are understanding of Alex's issues (wouldn't be our friends otherwise), ignored the entire episode and carried on as if the hacking and blowing going on in the next room was perfectly normal. When Alex finally returned full of apologies, they took it their stride and asked for another drink. Alex then became the wine waiter as well as the best wonton maker at the table. He also got to talk the most and didn't have to suffer the rather disgusting concoction that I was trying to pass off as "cooking".