For the record, Alex had stage IV oropharyngeal cancer with involvement of base of tongue (BOT) tonsils and nodal involvement on both sides. He was classified as inoperable because loss of function would have been catastrophic. He had no surgery and was advised to undergo induction chemo to shrink the tumour (approx 4cm) then chemoradiation to destroy whatever was left. 12 months out, he is still with us and working his way back to health.

With regard to the 2nd opinion from Dana Farber and the possibility of a law suit, a key word might be "marker" which suggests their pathologist did NOT diagnose cancer but maybe saw a warning sign. Unfortunately medicine is not an exact science and judgements need to be made - I don't see anything in your original post that suggests malpractice although obviously I do not have all the facts and there may be other reports that suggest differently.

Lastly, Alex and I are very, very sorry to hear of your loss and if action helps you to deal with the hole left in your heart, then talk to lawyers, doctors, pathologists and whoever else about what happened. Even an eventual realisation that Ken's death was nobody's fault (including yours) may give you some comfort in knowing that all that could be done, was.