@ Bonnie: I'm sorry to hear that the chemo John is getting isn't doing the job and he's been dealing with lung mets. I have heard great things about some of the new treatments that are being tested. John's doctor isn't giving up so there's a good reason to have hope.

I know that feeling about waking up happy and then realizing the nightmare isn't over...so much for having a happy day, huh? I haven't been at it for very long, and right now, we're pretty much still in limbo. You have been fighting for much longer. Stress takes a toll on a person. Bless you for all that you are doing for John. He's so fortunate.

Since J wouldn't push for a scan when he changed doctors, I had to find some kind of peace. I could only 'urgently suggest' (okay, yes....nag) so much before I realized it wasn't going to happen. So, my happy place came from letting go of the decision making process. It wasn't mine to handle. I'd love to send you a one-way ticket to come stay! All you have to do is try to put aside the things you know you can't change and try to find things to do that make you happy. Easier said than done, I know. Acceptance isn't an easy thing but can be a real gift.

Sending hugs! Keeping you ladies in my thoughts and prayers.

Sandy