Hi Wanda, The swelling in his jaw could be lymphedema from radiation.

It is hard not to worry. Anne-Marie has given you great advice to try to manage the stress.

I drove myself crazy with worry because things didn't happen when we thought they would and aren't happening now for a different reason. So, I forced myself to let go of what I can't control and mentally go to my "happy place". Being somewhat of a control freak and a worrier, it was no small task. I'm learning to love my "happy place" and am thinking of buying land there and building. I could use the write-off. Just teasing.

I can't change things, I can't change people. All I can control is how I react and how I choose to let it affect me. I guess this is my way of getting off the rollercoaster ride for a little while. I think I'll be mentally better prepared to deal with something serious when it comes up since I'm not constantly wearing myself out with worry. That's the idea, at least. One thing that helped me was to remember not to worry until someone (doctor) gives me something to worry about.

J waited 9 months to address the lump in his neck. Having a stoic man who procrastinates is difficult. But, the upside is that you know to take it seriously when they tell you about something or they make an appointment with their doctor. Remember, it is stoicism and not a 6th sense that something is wrong. Try to hang tough until you get the scans done. And then, I'm still not going to let you panic if something shows up. Remember, it isn't cancer unless a biopsy tells you it is.

Keep us posted on how things are going and how you are holding up.

Sending positive thoughts and a hug...

Sandy