You're where I was almost five years ago, when my husband's dentist identified a white patch (leukoplakia) on his tongue that hadn't been there at his previous cleaning. The pathology report on an oral surgeon's initial biopsy of a very small part of the patch was "moderate dysplasia" (abnormal, but not cancer), but the report warned of a possible "skip effect" -- meaning that cancer cells could be hiding in an area not taken in the biopsy -- so there may have been something suspicious in what the pathologist, who specializes in oral pathology, saw. When the whole thing was removed by an ENT a month later, the report came back as SCC in situ, with a small bit superficially invasive.

Once he received a cancer diagnosis, my husband went to an oral cancer specialist at a comprehensive cancer center (CCC). Because the entire lesion was removed with clear margins, he has required no further treatment. He was checked frequently (every 6 to 8 weeks) at the CCC for the first year, then less frequently for the second and third years, and has now moved to yearly appointments; his dentist also checks him with a VELscope at each six-month cleaning. He's living proof that early detection does save lives.

I wish you and your wife all the best, and know exactly how you are feeling. Fingers crossed for a good outcome.