Lisa, I wish I was in Montana right now to give you a big hug! I'm so sorry you have to go throught this again. I am also so sick of people telling me to stay positive. I realize they mean well, but sometimes it's hard and I just want someone to hug me and tell me it's ok to feel like crap. I'm pretty new to the cancer world and I friggin hate it. I saw one person write one time that they wouldn't change what they went through for anything because it made them a better person. I say B.S. if I had a choice I would change it in a second, I'm a good person without cancer. I hope things turn out GREAT for you!!! Shelly