Thanks gals...I appreciate the kind thoughts. Anne-Marie, you are right...it's a control issue. He feels he can't control anything anymore. He doesn't want more treatment and I don't blame him and don't argue about it and Wendy, you're right it's been head in the sand for a long time. Today is the kicker...we are speaking, but 15 years of sobriety down the drain. Surprised it didn't happen sooner. I think the last straw was loss of bladder control...it's happened before a couple times but today was worse and then it was like "who cares anymore". I know we're in the downhill stretch. On the occasions he bounced back it was never quite as high a bounce and then back down again. Too much weight loss, too many side effects, too many other health issues....
The kids are with their dad for a few days...booted them right on outta here (Christmas break). I'm hoping some peace and quiet and bit of normal (whatever that is) around here will level things out a bit.