Lori

I wish I didn't have any "insight" into this issue but your post evoked vivid memories of flying out to San Francisco to visit my little brother who was dying at the age of 35 from HIV (not HPV). I have no easy answers just sympathy.
He was miserable in the hospital. When we wheeled him out for some fresh air, he sobbed seeing his skeletal reflection in the glass window. The only thing that cheered him up was the joint of marijuana I smuggled in to him. Unfortunately, that's not usually an option.

Dealing with your Mom is another story. It's hard to know what words to say. Some of the writings on end of life at the link at the bottom may help. One excerpt deals with the patient not eating which you know as a speech pathologist but your Mom may not

[quote]It can be very upsetting to your family to see you eating less. For them, your interest in food may represent your interest in life... Loss of appetite and being unable to eat (together called anorexia) happens to more than 8 out of 10 of cancer patients before death. It is normal in the last months of life for parts of your body to start slowing down and eventually shut down. When you feel like eating less, it is not a sign that you want to leave life or your family. It is just a normal part of the dying process. [/quote]
Nearing End of Life
You sound like a wonderful sister and caregiver.
Charm