I am a speech pathologist and I fully understand what my brother's death will involve. My mother, on the other hand, does not and can not emotionally prepare herself for what is to come.
She handles a crisis with emotion, I try to deal with what is front of me and if I must, emote later.

We are a good team but I know better than to interfere with her coping mechanisms....nor she with mine. We each have our way. The critical point is assisting my brother and he does not much want to help anyone including himself. He waits until he is in pain to take pain medication. At that point, it is rather ineffective. He does not want to eat but will not say if that is due to lack of appetite, pain, or bad taste. It is difficult to know how to proceed. please help if you can offer insight.