lisa,
dont focus on the why. there isnt an answer for that so it just wastes ur energy when u need to focus on so many other things.
but i remember what u are feeling all to well. it is normal. caregiving is tough. its tough to watch the one u love go downhill. yes u are only at the beginning and YES it is going to get tougher...ALOT tougher. it is something we all have to endure. just know that u have unlimited support here. everyone REALLY DOES KNOW how u are feeling, we have all been there.
so feel free to rant and rave all u want.
i feel for u sweetie, just hang in there.