Scot,

believe it or not this kind of reaction is common. Fear takes over and people begin to feel hopeless. I'll say that your BIL needs someone with him at all times and he needs both psychological assistance and support. Antidepressants are not cure alls, where I believe that cancer patients should have every tool available to them to help, drugs aren't going to miraculously instill a will to live in your brother.

Personally I'd start by finding a local cancer survivor to talk with him or contact a cancer support group to help. He needs to know that this isn't hopeless, it isn't a death sentence...hell I would've loved a stage 3 diagnosis, I'd probably still have my face if they'd caught it that early. I'm no success story, in fact I find myself more of a cautionary tale and think I should be wrapped in yellow tape. I am still alive though and enjoying everyday with my family.

Sometimes we need an infusion of strength from others to help us walk this road, which is why family, caregivers and support networks are so important. Please read the Nietzche quote in my signature and help your BIL find his "why".

Best wishes,

Eric