Hi Gina,
The important thing is you know you are not alone. That has helped me more than anything. Anyone in your shoes would feel like screaming...and I think you should scream if you want to. You have the courage in you...I know you do. It's hard and you may not always feel like you can do it. When you feel that way come here...talk to us...vent to us and let us help you.
Please take care of yourself and come here when you need to.