Well, true to my Catholic upbringing, I have to confess that I have wallowed in self-pity, asked "Why me" and that was even before I had the recurrence. When the cancer came back, and I had to have surgery so I will never eat again, I even echoed Jesus's words on the cross and cried out to God
[quote]" From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" ["Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" in King James Version Bible] -- which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:45-46, NIV) [/quote]
That's why I am always amazed and astounded at heros and heroines like EZJim & Christine, and even more impressed with the youngsters like EricS and Suzanne who actually have every reason to bitch & moan at getting this "old persons" disease.
So for any OCF posters who read all the uplifting positive posts, don't feel bad if you are depressed or angry or self-pitying, I have been there and done that.
One of my New Year's resolutions is to just limit my self-pity to 15 minutes a day, but do it the entire 15 minutes in the hope that it will get boring and I move on.
Oh, and just to stay on topic with this thread: I think it is environmental. DonB has posted several links to a noted Cancer researcher who attributes his cancer to pesticide in his childhood France. I rode engulfed in veritable clouds of DDT spraying from a truck in New Jersey for mosquitoes on my bike, pretending to be an airplane in the sky. But I no longer care where it came from. I just hope it stays away this time.
Charm