I was first diagnosed with cancer of my tongue in 04. Surgery removed half my tongue, followed by 32 radiation treatments. The cancer came back in 07 & another 3/8th of my tongue was removed, followed again by radiation and chemo. I now speak with the aid of a prosthesis. I belong to an online support group called the "Oral Cancer Foundation" .and rely on the online forums for info & support. This Foundation was recently awarded the 2009 Cancer Fighters Award as the "Best Small NonProfi" I'm not surprised by the accolades. The work of Brian Hill - a cancer survivor and site creator is just amazing. Getting the word out about early detection and treatment of this killer is key. The Foundation is now working with the Paltrow Family (Gwenneth's father passed away from oral cancer and Blythe is active in oral cancer awareness). But the Foundation is not the main reason I am writing either.

A recent thread on the forums was about what people say and do that others can learn from - both positively and negatively. One example would be that when I was 1st diagnosed my neighbour came over to express her concern and just blurted out that "this couldn't happen to a nicer person"! I burst out laughing - she didn't mean that quite the way it sounded. All Cancer patients could share with you "oops" moments from those around us. We could also tell others what DOES work, - instead of a generic "let me know if there is anything I can do", suggesting something specific works tons better. Our OCF members could CERTAINLY provide an extensive and sometimes humorous list of "what not to do" when dealing with someone diagnosed with a terminal or life threatening illness. There are words and actions that help and words and actions that hurt and make the path more difficult.

This topic would be Very Helpful. People remain unsure of how to approach and deal with someone who has had "that" news. Our diseases are not contagious and we need those around us to be there for us.