I am a German married to an Aussie and living in Australia, Adelaide. We have 3 children aged 16, 18 and 21.
Unfortunately, there is very little support in Aus as well as resources.
My husband (51y.o.) was diagnosed in March with oropharyngeal cancer, stage IVB,
HPV 16 positive, and has bipolar disorder.
His surgery was 26 days ago, Neck dissection - 39 lymph nodes removed, one node positive greater than 6cm, tumour in tonsil reaching into soft palette.
Treatment starts on the 28th, 33x Rads and 4x a week chemo , cisteplan.
First up I am the carer for my husband, he's been suffering from severe depression for five years and last manic episode was April 2013. He doesn't work.
The learning curve about cancer, terminology, treatment and privacy laws has been steep . Don't want to touch the psychological and emotional trauma we have been through. In short - my husband doesn't really 'register' as to what is going to happen to him. It's as if it's all going above his head. As it is he's already having trouble performing normal day to day tasks, I.e. Getting out of bed, having a shower and brushing his teeth.
As a family, we have to organise everything for him. It is sad to say but reality for us. Now we are facing treatment. Having read up on as much as I possibly can - I AM SCARED , feeling lost - the medical system doesn't cater for people with mental illness and no matter how much I am emphasising it I seem to get no response at all.
I feel that he is just a patient amongst everyone else and no-one wants to listen. How is treatment supposed to work with someone who is already having trouble looking after himself.
The time after surgery was horrible. Getting him to eat or drink, or just having a shower was a major task. His oral hygiene is almost non existent. To get him moving is a chore.
I am working and have a house with hormonal teenagers and am trying not to loose it. I am devastated and scared of the unknown � I don't fancy having to deal with a manic episode or even a deeper depression on top of it.
