Don't ever give in to the "I'm a loser" lie. There are simply going to be times when it is miserably bad and you just have to ride through it. As awful as it will be, and it will be, you will come out the other side. Sleep as much as you can. You may not be able to work as long as you have wanted to, it is what it is, but does not define who you are.
And...I am sure you are the hero in your wife's eyes. I remember watching Kevin and being amazed by what he was going through. You sound like you make a great team!
Kathy

Kathy wife/caregiver to:
Kevin age:53
Dx 7/15/11
HPV16+ SCC Stage IV BOT/R
Non smoker, casual drinker
7/27/11 Cistplatin, taxotere,5FU 2/3week sessions, followed by IMRT 125cgy x 60 (2x daily) w/Erbitux weekly. Last rad 10/26/11. Last Erbitux 10/27/11
PEG placed 9/1/11 Removed 11/8/11
Clear PET 10/12 and 10/13 and ct in 6/14