Good Job Philly

lets hope things keep going forward now

liz x

Liz, if you knew more about what Philly has been dealing with and David's actions you wouldn't be so quick to rule out meds. I'm with you on the fact that they are over prescribed and shoved on cancer patients...I walked out on a Dr. that was hell bent in telling me I was depressed and wanted to give me meds. I switched to another dr because I don't need nor want to be on those things.

However you have a person like David, who quit treatment and has been letting fear and anxiety rule his life. He quit and gave up on his young wife and 4 children. I believe he needs assistance and if you knew more about it, you would too. Believe it or not, they help in some situations.

Eric i respect your opinion,but i most definately do not respect your statement "if i knew more about it "!!

I am a fully qualified state registered nurse and did my psychiatric secondment in a state funded mental facility.My mothers sister comitted suicide after years of treatment for manic depression and my own mother recieved electro convulsive therapy and was committed to a psychiatric hospital following this .My 25 year old niece has ocd and chronic anxiety disorder for which she receives medication and cognitive therapy,and my sister in law pops anxiety meds likes sweets since the death of her sister from breast cancer and her father 18 months later from oral cancer.

How much more would you like me to "know about it"?


My point is that while all these medications have a place in treatment they are far too often used too quickly as an easy one pill cures all.I know what Philly and david are going through is horrendous,what i went through with rob and his attitude and emotions was horrendous but i also know that it may not all be solved by medication,but if things don't improve it is an option that can be looked in to.

Bottom line if it works for you well and good,but sometimes it can muddy waters andactually bring its own problems.

You go Liz!!!

My husband had a similar feeling and occasionaly lightedness about 6 months out fromt treatment. We too panicked that it was cancer related and were very upset for days maybe longer. He was DX with mild high blood pressure which is now under control. Cancer makes one hyper vigiliant. Both a burden and in some cases a blessing. Glad he got checked out and that the news was good.

Liz, thanks for listing your "qualifications" but I'm not going to sit here and let you villafy a tool or tools that some of us may need.

I'm gonna be the jerk here (thanks for pushing this issue and driving me to this btw) and point out the obvious, you've never battled cancer. You had great seats to the show but you didn't have to glove up and stare death in the face. I did, David is and by god if he needs "liquid courage" or a pill to help him stare back at death then I refuse to let anyone make him or anyone else in the same situation, feel weak, or cowardly or badly for taking them. That's exactly what I read in your post.

I give it up for caregivers and have on these boards on several occasions, but in the end it's the people that have faced this demon that I'm gonna take my advice from and listen to. I've had to sit across the table from my children and tell them that daddy might not make it through this one, much like David, and I was scared out of my skull. I've fought men in the steets and in the ring, I've had guns and knives pulled on me but facing a foe that attacks from within is more frightening then anything I've ever experienced before in my life and there is no shame or weakness in getting any support, taking any med, drinking anything that allows you to fight this evil.

if I get banned for this post so be it, if people view me as a jerk so be it, but nobody can take away the passion in my heart to help those fight the demon I did and if I've hurt peoples feelings I apologize

Philly thanks for the message on facebook, it probably is the only place you'll be able to reach me after this one.

Eric

Bravo, Eric.

I am not going to get into the middle of this, but I do want to point out just a couple of things: One, Liz (and never, ever forget that we all recognize the extraordinarily difficult journey you traveled with Robin!)....but you mis-read Eric's post, when he said the following: "If you knew more about what Philly's been dealing with and and David's actions..." He did NOT say, "If you knew more about the subject of depression."

Secondly, clinical depression is a very real illness, and for some, the extraordinarily emotional experience of facing cancer can be the thing that will trigger a depressive episode, making them unable to function properly and impairing their healing.

I feel that this discussion has descended into areas that are not helpful in the general way that this forum generally is helpful. For any person to criticize the use of antidepressant medications for another is irresponsible in my opinion. It is a return to the dark ages, when persons with mental conditions were socially stigmatized and did not receive the help they needed for fear of being ostracized.

Different people respond to stress differently, and for those of you/us who are wired in such a way that we can tolerate the terrors and difficulties of this horrible experience, that's great, but let's please do not deny others the emotional support that they may need to do all they can do for themselves to aid in their own recovery.

Thanks for letting me sound off. I was a bit surprised by the tone of this thread, and I simply couldn't stand by and not comment.

Eric-Too often the caregivers are the ones who see what's going on with the patient before the patient even does. We can see what they can't because they are so scared. We are also the ones, far too often, left picking up the pieces. So at the risk of offending you, Get off your soapbox!

Sue

But Sue, isn't that an argument for using all the tools available to the patient?

I was just defending Liz's take on the idea. She was not listing her "qualifications" as Eric tried to twist it. She was also not saying that the drugs are not useful to some but ARE often prescribed without thought to the after effects. I would never tell someone not to seek medical care for mental issues. We are all entitled to our ideas on the subject and just because we are not the patient doesn't mean we should be discounted so quickly from the subject at hand. I, as Liz, was in the trenches with my husband every step of the way and even though he did not have mental issues to deal with I do see the reason to be wary of more drugs being pumped into people without regard to the side effects. Sorry if this sounds like a rant-I don't mean it that way-just trying to defend a wise lady's right to her educated opinion. Take it or leave it-I'm done with this.

Sue