#9644 02-19-2007 12:06 AM | Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 11 Member | OP  Member
Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 11 | well this is the week and fri will be the day.I'am getting so nerves that I had to take this week off from work becaulse I just cant think straight anymore.I sat all nite sat nite in my office and cried becaulse I knew after fri I will not look the same and talk the same and the thought of somthing going wrong during the surgery or what they might find that the test didn't show. I dont know I might just be loosing it I cant eat cant sleep I have bitten all my finger nails off to the finger tips.I just will be so glad to get past all of this and be able to move on with my life and just pray that things will get better.One thing I can say is that I fill better talking to you all because you guys and gals have been through the same thing and I thank god for each and every one of you all.
Raymond
RAYMOND--StageIV T4MO scc dx'd
1-24-07 surgery set for 2-23-07
full removel of top jaw bone,partial palatectomy'neck dissection,removel of two lymp nodes,all clear,waiting on chemo and rad to start.
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#9645 02-19-2007 02:40 AM | Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 12 Member | | Member
Joined: Oct 2006 Posts: 12 | Raymond
What you are feeling is perfectly normal. We all felt that way. Ask your doc for an anti anxiety med. It will take the edge off. You will be swollen and sore after surgery. This, too shall pass. And yes, you will have to live with the changes this dreaded disease deals us. You can and will do it! You will have our support. Our prayers are with you.
Sue
Susan Holsberg
ssc r maxilla r partial maxillectomy 9/25 brachytherapy 12/7
28 imrt 12/27 erbitux 12/20 recurrance 5/07 total maxillectomy
keeping my fingers crossed
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#9646 02-19-2007 03:14 AM | Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 108 Gold Member (100+ posts) | | Gold Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 108 | Raymond,
Do what ever you have to mediciation wise to put yourself in the frame of mind to fight for recovery. Work with your doctors to let them know you are very anxious about the surgery, they can help.
By posting here, know that you are never alone and can bring anything up that troubles you. Someone here has likely experienced the same thing already.
Take care and fight hard.
Jim
T3N2aM0 SCC right oral tongue. Partial Glosectomy, Modified Neck disection for 1 Lymph Node. Dec. 2002. 35 IMRT 2003.
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#9647 02-19-2007 05:44 AM | Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 | Raymond - You really can do this, and you deserve to have whatever help you need to get through the anxious moments. Dr. Carlson is my son's doctor and he and his whole office are very caring and compassionate people. Do call and ask about anti-anxiety meds. Have the drugstore phone number handy in case they decide to phone in a prescription for you. Just calling and taking steps to feel better and prepare for the surgery will make you feel more in control of your recovery. I'll be thinking about you and sending special prayers your way.
Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)
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#9648 02-19-2007 06:16 AM | Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 9 Member | | Member
Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 9 | Hey Ray Man. Hang in there big guy. It is a big step you take but you are never alone with the big cancer biting your ass. You have friends and supporters as you can tell from this web site response. Get the anti anxiety medication and take a load of your mind. You have to maintain a positive attitude and a vision of recovery to aid your healing. We all went through the tears and the fears and who is that person in the mirror concerns, but remember when you look out of your eyes and see all your loved friends and family it all looks so much better and the same as it looked before. Stop biting your nails and eat some good wholesome food and enjoy this week. Make sure you get someone to take a photograph of you now and after surgery so you can laugh about this a year from now. Keep your pecker up and trust in your surgical team and nursing staff they are wonderfull people. Good Luck and stay in touch. Dan. | | |
#9649 02-19-2007 06:23 AM | Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 446 "OCF Canuck" Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | "OCF Canuck" Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 446 | Raymond,
A week from now, the beast will know that you mean to beat it. You will beat it. Surgery is the first step to take towards doing something about the cancer and talking about doing something.
This is an "action" step. Keep acting on it, keep fighting it...we're right beside you all the way.
The advice you've gotten from others here is sound; get some anti-anxiety meds, today. Don't let the fear get the better of you. You're too strong for that
Much luck
Wayne
SCC left mandible TIVN0M0 40% of jaw removed, rebuilt using fibula, titanium and tissue from forearm.June 06. 30 IMRT Aug.-Oct. 06
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#9650 02-19-2007 08:01 AM | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 493 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 493 | Raymond,
Stay Strong. Don't give in to dark thoughts you are stronger than that. Get with your Drs for some anxiety meds if you need to. Remember in order to win this battle you have to fight. Surgery is your first step. There are lots of folks aroung here that have been where you are at. We are all pulling for you, some of us will pray others will think good thoughts. You'll need to do the same. Stay positive and you'll stay stong.
Tim Stoj
60 yr old. Dx Jun 06 with BOT Stage IV. Neck dissesction on 19 Jun 06. Started Tx on 21 Aug 06/completed 33 IMRTs and 3 CT (2 Cisplat & 1 Carboplat) on 5 Oct 06.
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#9651 02-19-2007 02:48 PM | Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 378 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 378 | Raymond,
Drugs, definitely drugs. You'd be crazy not to be anxious and that's why they have things like Ativan. Most of us here have felt the same way you do and this is all part of helping ourselves cope.
One year ago, Jack and I were where you are now. It's a big raw nerve. Reach out to people and let them help you with this. You will get through it and don't try to tough it out. Good luck on Friday, we'll be thinking of you.
Regards JoAnne
JoAnne - Caregiver to husband, cancer rt. tonsil, mets to soft palate, BOT, 7 lymph nodes - T3N2BM0, stage 4. Robotic assisted surgery, radical neck dissection 2/06; 30 IMTX treatments and 4 cycles of cisplatin completed June 06.
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#9652 02-19-2007 04:47 PM | Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 794 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 794 | Raymond, I have written you a long email, but I want to weigh in here too. Your surgery is much like mine and Sue's ( Susanannette.) I know that she has written to you personally also, about what specific things to expect.
What I want to say is that you will still be YOU! You will have some things to adjust to, but your wife and your famiy and your friends will see only YOU. You will NOT look as different to them as you do to yourself. Ddon't be too hard on yourself. You will look just fine.
Please tell us that you are not going to be a false "hero" here and try to be tough for some reason. Take the medication. You have had tootoo long to think about this, and you deserve to be able to enter your surgery and recovery time strong and determined.
I love the term that I learned here..."the new normal." You will be totally normal, though that "normal" will be different in some ways. You will be able to do whatever you do now.
When you wake up from surgery, you will still be the Raymond your family loves. Don't you worry about that.
You are going to be fine. I do NOT blame you for being anxious. It's a big deal. Promise us that you'll get some anti-anx. med. TOMORROW. You will be able to think and plan better.
You have every person on this board praying for you by name. That should take care of everything!
We're walking right beside you. Never forget it!!
Colleen--T-2N0M0 SCC dx'd 12/28/05...Hemi-maxillectomy, partial palatectomy, neck dissection 1/4/06....clear margins, neg. nodes....no radiation, no chemo....Cancer-free at 4 years!
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#9653 02-20-2007 03:06 AM | Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 77 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | | Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 77 | Hey Raymond,
This is going to sound weird, but hear me out. I remember that there was once a study that showed that the best intervention for pre-surgery anxiety was information about the surgery.
For my recent dissection, I looked on the internet for everything I could find. I found pictures of the procedure, descriptions, everything. It was weird thinking "They're going to do that to ME?", but it helped.
Just an idea...
Clint
Age 46; SCC BOT T3N1M0l dx 9/06
Cisplatin x3; radiation x42
Completed tx 10/31; Selective neck dissection 12/06
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