Hi. Glad I found these message boards. I am 46 and my hubby is 55. My husband has never even tried a cigarette or tobacco products. He does have (1) "adult beverage" every evening after work. The Friday before Christmas my husband woke up and noticed a large lump in the side of his neck. He went to the doctor who ordered blood work, CT Scan and follow-up with the ENT doctor. Blood work was normal but the CT Scan showed the mass in his neck as being 2.5 cm by 3cm and some thickening at the base of his tongue. The ENT specialist drew fluid out of the mass in his neck and the results came back malignant. This past Tuesday my husband had a modified/radical neck disection and lots of scoping done. The mass in his neck was a malignant lymph node. He removed that and the lymph nodes from that side. The primary tumor is at the base of his tongue and everything else looks clear. He said the tumor is a small lesion and was caught fairly early.

I feel like my head is spinning and I am in a fog. My husband takes great care of himself - vitamins every day, salad every nighT with dinner etc. He is home and recovering from the surgery. It is very difficult talking and swallowing. We have a follow-up appointment next Tuesday and hopefully he will have all the pathology reports back then. He told us that he won't need chemo but will definitely need radiation and to have a feeding tube put in before radiation starts. Is a feeding tube always necessary and how long does it stay in? I know I will undoubtedly have many, many questions. I appreciate all your help. I just lost my mom September 2007 after a long 3 1/2 year battle with Pancreatic Cancer and I am scared to death. I don't really know anything about this type of cancer. Thanks in advance.

Hi you have definately tapped into a pool of knowledge, experience, caring and love. It is a wonderful place to ask questions, vent, laugh and a place to feel safe. It was probably the best place for me when I was diagnosed. It is ok to be scared but more importantly to keep one foot on the floor. If you read some posts there are many many happy survivor biographies. I am sure there will be a lot of people with more experience chime in. All I can tell you is that most here will agree waiting is just the one of the hardest tasks to do. And what I was told to take one moment at a time, one day at a time...Every day is a new day!!!

Welcome to OCF. Glad that you have found this site. There is tons of info not just on the forum but also on the main pages of OCF. Both areas can be easily navigated with the search function. You will find lots of support here to help you along. Being a caregiver isnt an easy job. Take a notebook to the appointments and take notes, sometimes the info can be too overwhelming to remember.

As far as the feeding tube goes. That can be a hot subject around here. Some swear against it while others have found it a life saver. The length of time its in is all up to the patient on how well he recovers and can properly eat. Everyone responds to treatments differently. What works for one might not be the best for another person. I used the feeding tube for about 1.5 yrs and recently had it removed. For me, it was a necessity.

Sorry about the loss of your mother. Im sure it wasnt easy for you with her fighting for that long. Please feel free to ask questions, we are here to help.

I recall seeing some sort of nature documentary where a lake in Africa was drying up and all the frogs were gathered on the damp edges, with snakes gliding amongst them -- The frogs are all frozen in fear of the snakes and suddenly one frog moves -- A snake pounces, but misses the frog that moved and hits one of the stationary frogs instead -- The look on the frog's face is obvious -- It wasn't ME! I didn't move, HE did! Take him, not ME because I am following the rules and you can't punish ME for that!

I just rechecked the bottom of my foot and there are still no warranties for this or any other state!

Slim,

See my Signature Line below. I also had BOT primary and mets to my nodes. I didn't have a ND nor did I opt for a Peg. If he does get a Peg he MUST exercise his swallowing muscles each and every day or those muscles may forget how to. I am a little surprised they don't recommend chemo or at least give him the option to add it. I would really ask them what their thinking is. You also need to look into HPV as that's what caused my cancer and I was a non tobacco user.

We all understand your's and your husband's mental state right about now but this cancer is beatable so take a deep breath and be thankful you found the best site in the world to help get you guys through this Tx and the recovery.

Ask away or just vent.

Welcome Slim and my deepest sympathy for the loss of your mother. It is a normal reaction to be afraid, but you have found a very good place to get answers that will end some of your fears and the support that will make you strong enough to fight those fears.

Is your husband being treated and a Cancer Treatment center? Remember that it is important that you understand what the doctors say and that you have confidence in them. If you don't get another opinion. I read a recommendation that you start a notebook that goes with you to all of your appointments for notes, questions and instructions. I did it and still take it with me to each appointment. If I think of a question today for a doctor that I am seeing in two weeks, I will write it down now so that it does not go unanswered.

It must be very difficult to see someone you love go through this battle, but take care of yourself and be strong. This is a battle that he can win.

Patty

Hi Slim,

Welcome to OCF. LIke others have said..you will find many wonderful people here with great information. I wish you and your husband much luck. Always ask a lot of questions. Knowledge will let you know what questions to ask.

Suzanne

Hello Slim, Sorry that you have had to find us. Could you clarify: Did they also remove the primary tumor (and part of his tongue)? Thanks, it helps when we know what has been done.

Some of us did do radiation without PEG feeding.

Take care

Hi, Last Nov. I was in the same place you are right now. Shock, disbelief and totally freaked out. We also are into organic gardening, hiking, vitamins, herbs, etc. How on earth could this happen to us. I've come to the realization that cancer can and does happen no matter what. It still seems unreal at times. I often feel like I'm in a parallel universe, but then I realize that this is our new reality. Unchartered territory.
My husband, Richard, also had an enlarged lymph node. The first needle biopsy was negative, but when they retested 6 wks later they found SCC in the node. After subsequent tests they found a small mass at the base of the tongue. All the other tests were negative and the RO told us that the radiation would shrink the lymph node and get rid of the cancer.

We are doing 3x Cisplatin and 7 weeks of IMRT rad. Richard just finished his 3rd week with 4 more to go. Believe me, I'm counting the days. I know he will still be recuperating after that, but not having to go through any more treatments will be wonderful. I'm surprised that they are not doing chemo. I always thought that with a node involved that was the standard treatment. Gather as much info as possible from this wonderful site before you see the doctors. Knowledge is power and you will feel more in control and informed. Richard also has a peg tube and we are very glad for it. Your husband will adjust to it and then he'll be able to "eat" when his throat is too sore. As long as he continues to swallow he'll get through it. Ask me any questions. Geri

Hi Slim - I'm another newbie and scared too. Husband was diagnosed 12/19/08. This forum is the best thing you could have found. I cried and googled for a week before finding this. Since then I've learned more from the fine folks on here than anywhere else and I've stopped crying and started fighting. As others have said, get a notebook, write down everything, keep every doctor's card, pamphlet, etc. Ask questions. The folks on here are wonderful with their answers and just go one day at a time.