I just wanted to update you on my mother. I recently posted about her getting the peg tube a week or so ago. Got her home and she started gaining some weight. Was still having all the mucus problems in her mouth. I went over to see her on wed. evening and did not like the sound of her breathing, sounded like airway obstuction, so I called 911. Got her to hospital and ENT dr. had to put emergency trach in. He got it in a minute before her airway would have obstructed.
If I would not have stopped by she would have died at home thru the night due to obstruction.
The dr. came out and said he took biopsies of her tongue and just from looking with the scope he thought it was cancer.
Well today we got results and confirmed that the cancer is back and on the other side of her tongue and in the floor of her mouth. Her neck is so swollen. I guess it has spread everywhere. I was completely shocked despite everything we have gone through these past few months. The ENT and radiation dr. were totally shocked as well.
They kept saying all the side effects and pain were from the after effects of the radiation.
This has been a total nightmare.
There is nothing they can do. It came back very aggressive.
She just finished radiation in july and since then things have gotten worse and not better. But all they kept saying was radiation side effects.
She just saw both the dr's last week and I quesitoned so many things and they both said the highly doubt this is tumor related.
When she had her surgery back in march they got clean margins and the radiation was just a pallative treatment. Her CT scan of neck was normal.

Hospice is consulted and they are saying she has 4-6 months. My mother is 71yrs old and never smoked a day in her life.

These past few months I have seen her suffer and I do not want her to suffer anymore. We will be taking her home to keep her comfortable.
My father is still in the hospital from his recent heart attack and just had another heart cath today. We have not told him this news yet.

Could somebody please wake me up from this awful nightmare.

I am so angry at these dr's. How could they have missed this or not see it coming.

Please keep her in your prayers that she goes peacefully.
Michelle

Oh Michelle, I do not know what to say. This is all of our worst nightmares and I am so sorry to hear that your family is going through this.

I've worked in home care and hospice for 35 years and would like to support you in that decision. Pain and symptom managment is the primary focus and there is a team approach to supporting the entire family. If there is any additional information that you need please let me know and feel free to send me a private email if you want to talk.

Whatever the reasons that it's come to this point, I want to assure you that hospice programs have special training and expertise in managing comfort measures. There are volunteers, social workers, and chaplains who work with nurses and aides to provide holistic care.

I can well understand your anger but my best advice is for you to focus your energy on dealing with this new development as the loving family that you obviously are. When time is short, the only choice we have is what we do with it.

I will keep you and your Mother in my thoughts and sincerely hope that you will all find peace.

Regards JoAnne

Dear Michelle, there are few words that can comfort you in this very stressfull [and awful] situation. It sounds like the aggressiveness of your Mother's cancer was beyond anyone's control. Even with all of your questioning, it is doubtful there was much to be done. Having to deal with your Dad's heart problem as well has got to be incredibly hard for you and your family. The only thing know to say to you is that 70 plus years on this earth of living and loving mean alot- keep that thought close to your heart. Amy

Amen to the two previous posts.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Loretta

Michelle,

I am truly heart broken for you. This is just so unfair !

I send my thoughts, prayers and hugs your way.

Take care,
Diane

I want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. What a difficult time for you. Please take care of yourself through this and know we are here to listen to whatever you need to express at this time.
Linda

Michelle, your post really saddened me. Oh my, I am so sorry your Mom is going through this and also your Dad in the hospital. I am thinking of you and if you want to email me or if you think I can help is some way, let me know. Love, Carol

God I am so sorry. I hate this frigging disease.
Thoughts and prayers.
Robert

I know it's hard not to be upset with the doctors, but they are only human (although I've meet some who seem to forget that.) My brother's doctors were just as shocked as we were that his cancer returned so quickly after surgery. The doctor who performed my brother's surgery sit in David's room and cried with us when we found out he would not make it. I knew this doctor had done everything in his power to save David. It was just out of his hands.
On the positive side, while I know we are never ready to loose those we love, your mother has had a long, wonderful life. Yes, less time than some, but so much more than many. My thoughts are with you and your family. I'm sorry about your father's illness - when it rains it pours. Enjoy every moment with everyone in your family. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. We just have today.
Hugs,
Tonya

Thank you all for your kind words.
I am just taking one hour at a time to get through all of this. It is so hard to witness what this horrible disease can do to a person.
We are taking my mom to a hospice center tomorrow.
It was hard to get her in there but I pushed real hard and they finally said they would take her under symptoms control and hopefully a bed in the residentual section will open up so we can move her there.
My dad did not take the news very well and is having a very difficult time as we speak that it is affecting his health. I am very worried about him. He is still in the hospital and they are trying to treat his congestive heart failure.

Both of my parents are on the same floor at the hospital but their rooms are across the hall from each other. How strange is that.

My mother has 6 grandchildren who love her very much and all are having a hard time as well.

I know in my heart God has a plan for both of them.
Thank you again and I think about all of you often.
Michelle
Michelle