#84956 11-27-2008 05:08 PM | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 149 Senior Member (100+ posts) | OP Senior Member (100+ posts) Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 149 | Tx ended mid last year. Divorce is not helping. I take Ativan and lexapro and am in therapy.
Have a hard time getting up after sleeping. Anxiety is highest then.
Fatigue, low energy and constantly getting sick seem to increase the negative emotions.
I am probably addicted to Ativan. I think that I'd be more angry without lexapro which tones it down.
Last edited by trt; 11-27-2008 05:09 PM.
Dx 10/06 Adenoid Cystic carcinoma; Stage I. Soft palate/minor salivary glands. Tx surgery 11/06 Tomotherapy (targeted IMRT) 3/07
| | | | Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 531 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 531 | And posting this was probably a really hard thing to do. I can actually relate to some of your feelings. You are not alone from what I am reading here. I am getting a lot of support from my friends here and I am sure you will too. I am going to try to take my own advice that I am telling you. Please don't be too hard on yourself. You have been through a horrific ordeal and it takes a long while to heal. One in my opinion does not just "get over" oral cancer. The memory may fade but I don't think we will ever totally forget. But we will be happy again just gotta find our nitch...or switch and turn it on...We will be good once again I have faith in that one!!
Dianne..treatment at cc at Victoria Hospital, London, Ontario...insulin dependant, Surgery Sept 8/08 Tracheotomy,composite resection and bilateral neck dissection, left radial forearm free flap... T2N0 squamous cell carcinoma. No radiation A little over 2 yrs clear YAY
| | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 149 Senior Member (100+ posts) | OP Senior Member (100+ posts) Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 149 | thanks. you are right. it's as if I have trouble asking for help and I have to fall really low for it to happen. There are support groups nearby and I never went. Only now am I considering it. I even had fear of support groups as they reming me of the situation or I am afraid of seeing someone who is much worse than myself.
I am lonely and having trouble socially due to fatigue and anxiety. Wife and I still live in the same house; trouble selling in down market; but she does not support me and I cannot depend on her. Everything seems more stressful than it should be. Dividing property, moving and living alone (can I make it alone?) though it's kind of like living alone now.
Last edited by trt; 11-27-2008 06:05 PM.
Dx 10/06 Adenoid Cystic carcinoma; Stage I. Soft palate/minor salivary glands. Tx surgery 11/06 Tomotherapy (targeted IMRT) 3/07
| | | | Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 531 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 531 | Sometimes it takes a stronger person to ask for help. Also support is good but you have to find what works for you. When I was at my lowest point, groups made me feel more anxious. For me I needed one on one and some medicine to help get me chemically balanced. It was a huge circle made of dominoes and they would keep knocking each other down. To get better I had to interact and ask for help but a lot of times that made me more anxious which made me more depressed and hard on myself cause I couldn't do it. That started a whole new batch of emotions. Please do yourself the biggest favour find a phone number of either a hospital or nearest counselling office. Another answer for me when I wasn't able to get help from a professional I journaled. I wrote and wrote and wrote and wroter about 10 journals over the course of deepest depression. I wrote about everything it didn't matter how small or how huge just wrote everything and anything I felt. I don't mean to lecture but I have been in those depths and it is absolutely no fun to feel that alone. Have faith in yourself enough to get help and trust me once you find someone to lean on you will begin to see a light, feel some relief and those dominoes seem to grow legs and stand on their own...You can do this and you will be ok...You have started by taking a step and talking here. Remember you never have to be alone!!
Dianne..treatment at cc at Victoria Hospital, London, Ontario...insulin dependant, Surgery Sept 8/08 Tracheotomy,composite resection and bilateral neck dissection, left radial forearm free flap... T2N0 squamous cell carcinoma. No radiation A little over 2 yrs clear YAY
| | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 | Have you had you TSH levels checked lately. Certainly depression can cause fatigue but constant fatigue can also cause depression.
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
| | | | Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 531 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 531 | I never thought of that but that is so true...good call..but is that tested in routine blood work?
Dianne..treatment at cc at Victoria Hospital, London, Ontario...insulin dependant, Surgery Sept 8/08 Tracheotomy,composite resection and bilateral neck dissection, left radial forearm free flap... T2N0 squamous cell carcinoma. No radiation A little over 2 yrs clear YAY
| | | | Joined: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,128 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) Joined: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,128 | Get your TSH tested so you can rule it out or deal with it. Also, ask your Doc about higher dose of the Lexapro -- I had to do just that (doubled it from 20 to 40mg/day) and was pleased with the results.
BTW, I have friend who is a shrink and she said Lexapro was one of the most successful ADs she has prescribed.
Age 67 1/2 Ventral Tongue SCC T2N0M0G1 10/05 Anterior Tongue SCC T2N0M0G2 6/08 Base of Tongue SCC T2N0M0G2 12/08 Three partial glossectomy (10/05,11/05,6/08), PEG, 37 XRT 66.6 Gy 1/06 Neck dissection, trach, PEG & forearm free flap (6/08) Total glossectomy, trach, PEG & thigh free flap (12/08) On August 21, 2010 at 9:20 am, Pete went off to play with the ratties in the sky.
| | | | Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 | Fatigue is a well known side effect of cancer treatment. I also suffered from PTSD about a year out, which is also very common.
Gary Allsebrook *********************************** Dx 11/22/02, SCC, 6 x 3 cm Polypoid tumor, rt tonsil, Stage III/IVA, T3N0M0 G1/2 Tx 1/28/03 - 3/19/03, Cisplatin ct x2, IMRT, bilateral, with boost, x35(69.96Gy) ________________________________________________________ "You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" (James 4:14 NIV)
| | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 149 Senior Member (100+ posts) | OP Senior Member (100+ posts) Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 149 | TSH was below range, but the rest of the thyroid numbers were normal so the docs said it's ok.
Testosterone was low and brought to normal, 500, via injections. It has not affected the fatigue and illness though. Maybe it'll happen in the future. I've been getting shots for a coupla months.
Dx 10/06 Adenoid Cystic carcinoma; Stage I. Soft palate/minor salivary glands. Tx surgery 11/06 Tomotherapy (targeted IMRT) 3/07
| | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 149 Senior Member (100+ posts) | OP Senior Member (100+ posts) Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 149 | yep, this seems very similar for me. It's as if I don't have enough energy to bring myself to support group or it's closed when I have enough energy.
I see a student (PhD candidate) therapist but he does not seem to help me too much. Maybe I should try to see someone else, but that also takes effort.
I try being more social but get anxious or rejected which depresses/angers me and than it's harder to try again.
My wife seems to think that I got a "clean bill of health" and I am now ok, after all "some people came to her gym to work out while having chemotherapy."
My primary oncologist feels that radiation fatigue stops after a year and that it's the depression that's making me tired. "some of my patients are running marathons" "you are the only patient who is suffering from fatigue". I don't know where they get these types of statements.
[quote=darkeyedlady0]Sometimes it takes a stronger person to ask for help. Also support is good but you have to find what works for you. When I was at my lowest point, groups made me feel more anxious. For me I needed one on one and some medicine to help get me chemically balanced. It was a huge circle made of dominoes and they would keep knocking each other down. To get better I had to interact and ask for help but a lot of times that made me more anxious which made me more depressed and hard on myself cause I couldn't do it. That started a whole new batch of emotions. Please do yourself the biggest favour find a phone number of either a hospital or nearest counselling office. Another answer for me when I wasn't able to get help from a professional I journaled. I wrote and wrote and wrote and wroter about 10 journals over the course of deepest depression. I wrote about everything it didn't matter how small or how huge just wrote everything and anything I felt. I don't mean to lecture but I have been in those depths and it is absolutely no fun to feel that alone. Have faith in yourself enough to get help and trust me once you find someone to lean on you will begin to see a light, feel some relief and those dominoes seem to grow legs and stand on their own...You can do this and you will be ok...You have started by taking a step and talking here. Remember you never have to be alone!! [/quote]
Dx 10/06 Adenoid Cystic carcinoma; Stage I. Soft palate/minor salivary glands. Tx surgery 11/06 Tomotherapy (targeted IMRT) 3/07
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