Pete,

Sorry, you're right. It's just UF. What messed me up is that it's in Gainesville, which to me is about as central as you can get in Florida. I don't count Miami - it's like a whole other state down there - not bad, just different. But I do spend a lot of time in Tampa.

In Gainesville there's a Gator store on every corner and Gator memorabilia in every place of business - including the hospital gift shops. I was very careful to not mention that I had been more of a Seminoles fan myself.

Lani

Actually, Tallahassee was chosen as the capital because it is in the center of the state on a line between Jax and Pensacola.

Miami is separate from the rest of Florida, just as New York City is from the rest of New York State -- They are worlds unto themselves!

Jim,

You betcha. I grew up in Upstate New York, which is almost all of NY State, and I only lived about 50 miles north of NYC, yet "in the sticks".

Tallahassee is the center of Florida east to west, but there's a whole lot of Florida south of it, even if you DON'T count Miami. All of it, in fact. Maybe we should be FL state #3 - Central Down Under. Oh yeah, Gabe's neighborhood has that one already. Well, the media calls a lot of us the I-4 Corridor - at least in national election years. We call western FL Panhandle "LA" - Lower Alabama.

Lani

I had my echocardiogram this morning. They found fluid around my heart. He said he wants a CT scan ASAP, and then he said that he wants to be sure there is no cancer - and that's where I kind of lost it. He could see by the look on my face and the tears pouring down my cheeks that the word "cancer" should be spoken carefully around an OC survivor. He then assured me that it's too soon to tell if cancer is involved and tried to ease my mind.

I told him about my two lung biopsies in April and June, my PET scan in May, and that my lung Doc at Shands had just had another chest CT scan done 9/11 that was OK. (This side/chest pain started about 2 or 3 weeks after that.) He got my PCP on the phone and she's going to get that last scan from Shands for him and get another one scheduled, etc. Then he sent me for a full blood workup. I asked if I was still to have the nuclear stress test on Saturday, and he said "We'll see". Then he gave me different pain med - Percocet. I sure hope it works better than the T#3 did.

I googled "fluid around heart" and got a name, peritonitis, or maybe pericarditis. The title of the writing was the first one, but the Dr explaining it kept calling it the second one in his answer. When I read the symptoms it made me wonder why they didn't know right away what it was - I've got all of them. Then again, it's not hard to fit the symptoms to a condition when you already know what the condition is.

I found out why he mentioned cancer, too. It's listed along with kidney failure, AIDS, and tuberculosis as possible causes. This is especially curious to me because my lung Doc, when cancer was ruled out, had suspected a "relative" of tuberculosis. They never did find out what that spot in my lung is - just what it's not. And the upper portion of both lungs biopsied due to "activity" shown in the PET scan - again negative for all things tested. They decided that I have lipoid pnuemonia and are keeping an eye on it, but they had suspected the TB family there, too.

So that's where we stand so far - or should I say lie down, because standing doesn't work very well for me right now. If anyone here has any experience with this, please tell me about it. I was pretty scared this morning but I'm much calmer now. I could use one of those booster shots from Jim, though.

Lani

Lani,
Look for a bench in the bend of the road and just sit and rest for a while. We will do the worrying for you.

Malka,

Great idea. That's the battle plan right now. Rest, calm down, do what the doctors tell me to do, and pray.

Maybe it's time to pick up that needlepoint I bought years ago and never got around to.

Lani

Your needlepoint can't be as old as mine. When my sister redecorated her house shortly before my nephew's Bar Mitzvah I started a picture of a ship in full sail. It matched the colors of his room and the theme. (His light fixture was a wooden ship's wheel with lanterns.) I finished about 3/4ths and put it away. His oldest is now in college.

Malka,

You're right. This one's only about 10 yeas old. I came across it in my "unclutter my world" phase of OC recovery. (Yes Jan, many of us get that bug, whether in recovery or in acceptance of the inevitable.) I had only gotten as far as getting it on the frame - never a stitch begun.

Another thing I've been wanting to do is learn how to knit. Grandma taught me when I was very young, but all I ever made was long scarves, and Grandma always started the first row for me and did the finish thing, too. I remember the basic stitch, so if I tried now I would have a scarf one stitch wide, though it could end up miles long.

The one thing that Mom and I both regretted that we never learned from her is how to tat. I still have some of Grandma's hankies. Her work was so beautiful, and tatting is a dying art. I don't know of anyone who still does it.

Another benefit of OC disability forced early retirement. So many things I've never had time for but wished I did. Grandma used to make so many fantastic things that she donated for charity to be sold at fund raisers, etc.

Lani

Hoping for the best Lani.

Just wanted to update you all on my continuing heart/chest saga.

They found that I have fluid around my heart.

I didn't make it through the nuclear stress test on the 15th. When they injected the stressing agent, my chest and throat tightened up and I couldn't breath at all. They put an oxygen mask on me and injected something to counteract the stressing agent. Then they said to go home. So I never made it to the treadmill part. I haven't heard anything from the heart Doc about any results, so I don't know if there is also a blockage (angina).

I had a chest CT scan on the 13th and my PCP said that my lungs look a lot worse than they did in March, which is the last scan she has access to. I had another one in September that was not alarming to my lung Doc at Shands (after he had done 2 lung biopsies this past spring and couldn't find out what was growing in my lungs). I have since gotten my most recent scan from Nov 13th sent to my lung Doc. He said that my left lung is a lot worse - besides the scan showing the fluid around my heart. He said that I have a void/blank spot/space rapidly growing in that lung and we don't know what it is. It could be cancer, or a relative of TB, or fungus - just don't know yet. They will schedule another biopsy of that area ASAP.

By this time I was down to 79 lbs, in a great deal of pain even with the meds, and so weak I could hardly walk even with my cane. My throat seemed to have developed an obstruction just past the back of my tongue - I could feel it with my finger and it was hard and movable - so eating was barely possible.

I had my throat dilated (4th time) on Monday and thank goodness the obstruction was actually just that my esphogus had become so constricted that it had formed a ridge just past the back of my tongue. The dilation has fixed that part of my swallowing problems, so now I'm able to eat and am building up some strength again.

I'm hoping to hear from my lung Doc about the lung biopsy the first part of next week. His associate definitely wanted me to have it ASAP. Since my cardiologist seems to be ignoring me & my fluid, I'm wondering if they at Shands might pick up where he left off, too. I would feel better if they did.

Just a note about the growing "space" in my lung. My aunt many years ago had something eating away at her lungs. She had 1/3 of one lung removed and 2/3 of the other one. I remember my Mom saying that it had been some kind of a fungus, and that it was stopped by that major surgery, instead of the "spot removals" they had been doing before. I guess I'm hoping it's more like something like that - instead of lung cancer.

So I guess that's why you haven't seen me posting lately. I've been trying to wrap my head around all this while being in so much pain and being so weak & sick. My emotions are like a roller coaster right now - crying one minute and Ok the next, but then yelling at my poor dogs or my son for nothing after that. I AM very scared and so very anxious to get all this taken care of. Even if it IS cancer, there's still surgery, radiation, and chemo to battle it with. And it would be really great if someone would drain this fluid out from around my heart. I've been pretty much bed-ridden for about 6 weeks now, and I want to get fixed!

If anyone has any experience or info to share I would love to hear it, and prayers are always so very much appreciated. I'm sure they're what's gotten me this far.

A very Blessed Thanksgiving to you all,

Lani