It's been about 14 months now since end of Tx. I am also going through a divorce which seems to push me further down. I really wish this was not happening at the same time.

Even though I take meds for both depression and anxiety I am constantly anxious esp in the morning when I try to hide in the bed instead of getting up.

When I exercise I end up having increased fatigue for 2-3 days; this also increases fear and brings me down. I am afraid to exercise because of the after effects. Exercise used to be enjoyable and make me feel better... now it's the opposite.

I wish I could do things that I could do before Tx.

I am upset and angry about the fatigue, trismus, dry mouth, inability to exercise enough (which causes many other problems), etc.

Often it's difficult to make calls and make appointments and advocate for myself when the Docs don't care or act as if it's not their job.

Sounds like you are feeling very frustrated and depressed - having a hard time accepting that all this has happened to you and finding your "new normal". Where is the fairness?

We all go through this and it comes back every now and then, but mostly you have to do what you can and forget about what you "used" to be able to do. We are here NOW. We have TODAY and we should try to be grateful for that. Try to count your blessings - an old and trite but true statement and one that actually works.

We're here for you. Keep on keeping on!

Donna

I am sorry you are suffering so much, mentally and physically. It sounds like you are not getting the support you need for your mental health issues. Do you have a good relationship with your primary care physician and have you tried different medications?
Does your cancer centre have a support group that could help? The physical effects of the treatment are difficult enough if you are emotionally in good shape but I am sure magnified by the anger, depression and anxiety. I hope you will be able to find some help soon, please don't give up.

Thanks for the responses. I don't have med insurance which makes things harder.
I only recently started seeing a primary care physician.

I had some therapy at the CCC but the therapist lest due to changes the ccc is making (providing fewer services).

I am also afraid of recurrence due to all the stress. ACC has also been known to metastasize to the lungs.

A friend of mine was starting his bout with oral cancer when his wife decided to divorce him -- It was tough, but had a good ending -- During the course of his treatments, he met his current wife going through her cancer treatments -- Eventually they married and are both savoring their new lives!