Dear friends,

Just wanted update you about my mum. She has been fighting oral cancer since 2003 and as I said in my previous post it is back in her parido something gland (salivary gland) though we don't have the full story yet as we are still waiting for an MRI Scan on Tuesday, 15th April 2008 and it's outcome.

The fine needle biopsy shows positive sign of cancer. Also everyday the lump in front of her ear and angle of jaw appears slighly bigger. She also has some drooping of her eyelid on the right side together with that eye watering continually. The right side of her face has also become immobile.

When we saw her consultant for a meeting this week, he said that he was quite concerned as it was not a good sign together with the news from the biopsy. He said that this time making a decision to operate may not be as straight forward as it has beeen so in the past. (Mum has had 3 major operations over the past 5 years). He said that if they operate, it could be risky as it could damage the facial nerve and she would be paralysed on that side of her face. He also said that if they didn't think surgery would mop up any remaining cells and treat her successfully then they would not offer surgery as it would not be in her best interests. With regards to radiotherapy he said that they mightbe able to do that but only to shrink the tumour not cure it completely. Also, because she has had radiotherapy before to the same side, that too may not be viable.

So as you can imagine, we feel like we have been left with no hope unless there is a miracle and the MRI Scan results come out in her favour.

I have been so upset since. Mum has been pretty much holding it together, except for today when she really let herself go and began to cry and despair.

Do you think there could still be hope? what about chemotherapy? what does that do? Will it help if she was offered it?

I feel so cross. why my mum? She has so much yet to live for. She is such a busy little bee. I always call her that because she loves to cook and is often found making delicious food in the kitchen that unfortunately she cannot eat. Dad has just bought her a lap top as well and my husband and I are hoping to make her an expert in surfing the net and emailing by the end of this weekend!! She has three beautiful grandchildren (they are my kids and I am an only child) two boys aged 11 and 9years and a little girl aged 3 and a half. SO why my mum and why now?

I just want to scream out loud. It's just not fair but then reading other people's posts. She is not alone and there are many of you in similar situations or have been there before. Unfortunately, it seems it is only the good ones that seem to suffer from this dreadful disease.

Sorry to go on. Just felt the need to vent my frustrations. Hope you understand and can give me some support?

Thanks


Kathleen.

Kathleen:

Im so sorry to read about your mother. I can tell you are very close and this is so difficult for you. You will find lots of support here so feel free to ask questions. I hope you get good results with the test next week. Dont give up ho***g it will turn out ok.

Kathleen,

I am truly sorry to hear about your mother. Unfortunately, this horrible beast does not discriminate and there is no answer as to why it would attack such a wonderful lady as your mother. There is little that makes sense sa to why her or why anyone else.

Please try hard to never give up hope. Take it a day at a time and make sure she gets all the time in the world with such a wonderful family. Take the time to make very special memories and make sure she knows how much all of you love her all the time. There are so many things in life that can not be explained but sometimes it is more tolerable to have those around you that love you so much.

Wishing you and your family only the best.

Ed

Kathleen,

We are thinking of you and praying for your Mum.
She sounds like a lovely lady and we wish all of you the best.
Take Care
Marica

Kathleen - I am so sorry to hear how things are going. Please keep up the hope and there are many people praying for you.
As we've talked about my husband's initial tumor was in that same spot and we could "see it growing". He did not have the other facial symptoms, but I think he was close. His tumor was wrapped around the facial nerve and the ENT surgeon had to peel it back. The facial issues she's having are from the tumor against the facial nerve. I understand there is always concern when operating to try and save the facial nerve, but it is commonly reconstructed - so even if they do the surgery and the nerve is damaged they will replace it. That was a possibility for us going into Dan's surgery. He described the nerve replacement surgery in depth. This is because he wouldn't know for sure about saving or sacrificing the nerve until he got in there. He was able to save the nerve, but due to the trauma to that nerve Dan does have facial paralysis on that side. It is slowly coming back. Where is your mom being treated? Perhaps a consultation with a 2nd surgeon? Regarding the radiation happening a 2nd time - I don't have experience with that, but others do and hopefully they will respond. Dan is receiving chemotherapy as a radiosensitizer (enhanced the radiations ability).

Good luck - please know that we are always here to listen and help in any way.

Dear Christine, Ed, Marica and Michelle,

Many thanks for your encouraging and very supportive replies. It means so much to me to be able to share my feelings and concerns with you all.

I shall keep you posted on mum's progress. At the moment we are taking it one day at a time and trying to keep things as normal as possible.

Thanks again.

Love

Kathleen.

Hi kathleen

i know just where you are coming from,and i ask why Robin every day.On the positive side Robs secondary tumour was in the same place as your mums,and the surgery was very successful in terms of minimal nerve damage (no facial palsy or loss of muscle control) a few weeks post op he developed trigeminal neuralgia as the nerves came back to life,and that was very painful but treated with Amitryptilline at night it was controllable.

I hope you get positive news and i am sure she will give it her best shot.

love liz

Kathleen,
You are worrying about the "what-ifs." You haven't gotten the complete answer from the doctor yet. For every fear you have expressed there is a probabilty of a positive outcome as well.
I add my hopes and prayers for your mother. Staying "normal" is the best medicine for now.

Malka