Hello,

I just wanted to take a moment to thank this site's founders/managers/members etc...This resource has been the best lift to my spirits and is so informative! I am amazed after reading so many posts as to the well thought replies to any and all questions. I only wish my sister was as inspired as I however I'm sure after all this sinks in she will really jump on board! Thank you all so much for being here! You will be hearing a lot from me and thank you for your patience with my ignorance on this topic- but alas aren't must of us this way until it touches so close to home. All the best and THANK YOU-TRULY-

Sarah

Thank you Sarah,
but consider that for some it is just too vivid. That's why we have many caregivers and family members in the mix here and some patients just simply don't want to know. We respect that too.

Hi Sarah:

I think it also comes in waves. I used to post regularly then went through a kind of "freaked out" period when being on the board reminded me too much of cancer (kind of ridiculous given the point of the board, right?) so I had to reflect on what that was about before I could return. I now realize I was so fearful of recurrence for the person I love that I couldn't see past that fear to help others a for a bit. Now I realize how much I missed out on because helping others helps me feel less afraid and more supported in my own emotions be they positive, negative, or terrified (not uncommon and probably won't be going away any time soon).

As Gary said, your sister may or may not find solace here but you can and that, in turn, will help her immeasurably.

Best,

Kim

For posters that are new, kcdc are both medical professionals. We are fortunate to have them come back to the boards with their experience to share with others, though I completely understand their absence for awhile. I too wanted to hide under the bed for some time related to cancer after my treatments ended. Problem was it didn't help. As a person who has never backed down from a fight or run from confrontation, I find this behaviour of mine so out of character, but fear is a powerful emotion. It is very true that you can be cancer free, but never free of your cancer....

Dear All:

Once again, Brian is right on which is why we are fortunate he is our leader. I took to hiding under the proverbial cancer bed for a bit and he didn't join me and for that I am grateful because OCF is now the powerhouse that it is and offers us information and comfort.

Even better, Brian passed no judgment on my sudden major league meltdown and newfound neurosis about cancer (and he didn't say what the bleep is wrong with you-you are a health care provider!)and all things related to talking about it for a period of time.

Instead, he told me I was typical (I hate the word normal-I like to be a bit quirky) and he warmed me with understanding about my fears.

Most people think once the physical toll is over that healing begins. I would agree insofar as the human body goes but would maintain that the emotional toll hangs on for a long while and one needs good friends to occasionally help put it in perspective.Sometimes I struggle harder now that Dave is 4 years out than I did at the beginning. I think it is partly because noone really talks about his cancer anymore but it always lurks in my head in a place even when the sky is blue and the day is going well.It was like that when I was told Dave had cancer so nothing every really feel completely safe.

I, and others at OCF, are fortunate that Brian does the support thing just right with empathy, candor, and just that little dose of cynical wit I have come to adore.

Kim