Dear All:

Once again, Brian is right on which is why we are fortunate he is our leader. I took to hiding under the proverbial cancer bed for a bit and he didn't join me and for that I am grateful because OCF is now the powerhouse that it is and offers us information and comfort.

Even better, Brian passed no judgment on my sudden major league meltdown and newfound neurosis about cancer (and he didn't say what the bleep is wrong with you-you are a health care provider!)and all things related to talking about it for a period of time.

Instead, he told me I was typical (I hate the word normal-I like to be a bit quirky) and he warmed me with understanding about my fears.

Most people think once the physical toll is over that healing begins. I would agree insofar as the human body goes but would maintain that the emotional toll hangs on for a long while and one needs good friends to occasionally help put it in perspective.Sometimes I struggle harder now that Dave is 4 years out than I did at the beginning. I think it is partly because noone really talks about his cancer anymore but it always lurks in my head in a place even when the sky is blue and the day is going well.It was like that when I was told Dave had cancer so nothing every really feel completely safe.

I, and others at OCF, are fortunate that Brian does the support thing just right with empathy, candor, and just that little dose of cynical wit I have come to adore.

Kim