Hello Anita; I would have thought that the statistics were drowned by now with all the (useless) tears I have shed over them. I think that they can be more insidious than cancer itself. Twelve years ago I had metastatic melanoma, bad bad stuff, surgery and chemo,and here I am battling another nasty kind of cancer at stage IV. I wonder what the statistics would say about that?
I can't see the future, but I sure as heck refuse to let statistics rob me of my wonderful present.
With love and encouragement to you,
Fran

Hi Anita,
Screw the statistics. Just never, ever give up until you are absolutely positively that there is no other option. We don't all make it, but give have him give it the best fight you can. We are all pulling for him. Get him on the forum and maybe he will ask his own questions and express his fears.
Take care,
Eileen

Anita, I am also a member of the tonsil cancer family and my situation at T2N3M0 is more severe than your husband. I just received chemo and radiation treatment.I am still alive after 3 years going back to my full time job as a teacher of the high school. I was grateful to my team of doctors who never talked about my survival rate. They only told me that they would fight with me and pushed me to the survival group. When I was diagnosed and treated, I was so ignorant and did not have the energy to surf information on the computer. My husband and 2 sons were so occupied with their own work that they could only support me spiritually. That may be a reason why we have more wives or daughters as caregivers asking questions on this forum. I always believe that knowledge is power but at the point of cancer statistics, I would say ignorance can bring some peace to our mind. If I had discovered this forum before treatment, I could have been scared by the sad experiences of some unfortunate members here.Of course a positive side is I could get myself better equipped with necessary information and support, which might have helped me escape from the depression episode which was 10 times more difficult to cope with than the cancer itself. So I have learned to be selective on the information that has positive impact on my health. Statistics is the one I will skip.

Karen.

Just tonight had a chance to look at all the wonderful replies to my post. Want to thank each of you. Puts a whole new spin on the numbers game - but this one is"strength in numbers" - you guys are great.

Anita

I never thought that you're a statistic until you're dead anyway - then who cares. Of course if he's really old, has other health issues, still drinking, smoking, or chewing tobacco then thank him for improving MY odds.

Oh and did I add that the chance of recurrence is 80% in the 1st year and 15% in the second, then drops to 5% after that so statistically he is past the worst part.
Future tripping can only serve to drive you both nuts. Take it one day at a time. Only God owns the future. Tell him to have some gratitude for what he has TODAY - that he is cancer free! Maybe he needs some therapy.

I'm in the same place, at 2 years, and the same stage III/IV and except for when I'm visiting here or someone asks me about it. I don't think about it much anymore. I have moved on and life is fuller and richer than ever before, every day is a gift.

Gary, another example of how different men and women react to their experience. I am more senior than you in terms of cancer encounter, not of age but I am still thinking of the disease every day. Luckily, I am just thinking but not worrying. When I wake up, I will tell myself how fantastic it is that I am still breathing,being able to enjoy my life in the way I like. My husband has long forgotten that I am a cancer survivor because sometimes he asked me to try some delicious spicy food not realising that the slightest spice would send me to the ceiling. I stared at him and then he remembered! About the recurrence rate, all along my oncologist told me that my chance of recurrence was very high, high, quite high. It was only in my last appointment in January that he said my chance has become very low now!He made my day.Yes, every day is a gift.

Karen

Karen, I guarantee you that I am female, but I am in the same situation as Gary in that I just don't think about being a survivor. I have scars that I see every day, but it just doesn't compute. They are a part of me now and I am very busy in my life. Going for a checkup is like visiting friends, and I actually look forward to seeing those people who worked so hard to save my life. To illustrate further, it is like I had measles, mumps, cancer, chicken pox, and I had my wisdom teeth pulled. Just not a part of my daily life any more than the other items listed. When I was fighting it, I thought about the cancer every day, all day. That is done now, and I think of many other things that are in the present. I wish I could bottle this attitude and give it to everyone who cannot stop worrying.

Your last appointment in January should make your year! Congratulations!! That is great news.

It was pointed out to me that I should clarify one thing - if you are going to HAVE a recurrence, then there is an 80% chance of it in the first year and 15% the second year.

Karen I have to admit that I don't have the majority of the post Tx issues that most here comment about. Spicey foods don't bother me, eat anything, I have most of my salivary function back, no swallowing problems, etc. I actually feel better than I did pre cancer.

Ditto here on eating anything (and EVERYTHING ). I have actually put on about 40 lbs since July and even ate a foot long Subway the other day with jalapenos, oil & vinegar, toasted and did not even drink a drop of water until the end! If the wind blows I remember to keep the mouth shut and it doesn't dry out as bad. I autocrossed the other day and went 5 runs without a water bottle. I was coughing and gagging a bit the last run because my youngest son forgot he had my water bottle and he didn't give me a drink when he was supposed to! I came in second to a Subaru WRX STI by .04 seconds and he was whooping me last year by 3-4 seconds a run. Life doesn't get much better than this and I keep forgetting how many months have passed!

Ed

Just wanted to clarify that my husband doesn't sit around thinking about recurrence all day (mostly adding this in response to Gary's suggestion that he get therapy). He's back to working hard, skiing, and, in fact, a couple of months ago was voted the fire department's "Most Valuable Player" (he's a volunteer fireman/EMT). He's actually got a very good attitude about it all - better than mine. And, no, he is not very old, has never been a drinker and has never smoked.

Also wanted to clarify for the people just diagnosed or in currently in treatment - there really is life after cancer.

Anita