Hello. I am a co-caregiver to a friend recently diagnosed with T2N2BMO squamous cell carcinoma of the oropharynx. In December, he had surgery that removed part of the primary tumor, and was told to begin radiation/chemo asap. Thanks to help from Brian Hill, we were able to quickly explore and select a treatment facility. We visited Anderson and UCSF, and ended up at UCSF because he would be able to stay at home, with more caregivers and support. Treatment is scheduled to begin next week. My friend has an attitude and positive spirit that is nothing short of amazing. Our goal is to fight this hard.

Hello Lawrence; Sounds like you and your friend have started on the path to recovery right from the get go. What a wonderful attitude and what an amazing friend you are. Some folks head for the hills when the word cancer is mentioned...it's just too scary for them.
Before this recent personal dust up with SCC, I had the priviledge of attending my friend who was having surgery and chemo for breast cancer. We used "our" treatment waiting times as an opportunity to meditate and ponder some wise writings rather than just watch TV or chat. It ended up being a blessing not just for us but for the folks in the chairs close by and an example to the busy- even harried staff. There is peace and tranquility in the midst of serious illness if you seek it.
You can just guess who has been one of my best champions through the tough parts of radiation and post rad recovery.
Your shared goal is a connection like no other. May you both enjoy the victory that lies ahead.
Blessings, Fran

The one thing I found during my battle with this disease is that, as in everything else in life, attitude is about 80 percent of the game. At the onset of treatment, I made my mind up that I was going to refuse to have all the nasty side effects, not allow the treatments not to work and not allow the treatments to kick my butt.

And I needed every bit of that resolve I could muster, things got pretty grim for a while and I lost that resolve more than a few times and had to remind my self, with help from my family and this group here.

Good luck on your journey, and feel free to visit often for support if you need it.

Bob

Lawrence,

I don't want to take anything away from Fran, because her way worked for her and her friend. My way was different because I am different... I had to laugh.

It was probably easier for me to laugh than it was for my wife and my friends because I was numb with the emotional overload... but I laughed every chance I got.

Meditation. Laughter. Whatever works.

Ken

Hi Ken,
Laughter, actually sick humor, was also my way of getting through the cancer diagnosis. We still crack some pretty off color jokes. I had a bone from my leg put in my face to replace my jawbone, one of my older daughters favorite jokes is "mom, get your foot out of your mouth". I used to say "I'm perfectly healthy except for this cancer thing". It helped all of us but you do have to have a certain twisted side to use this coping technique.
Minnie

At the cancer center where I went for radiation, the elevator that took us from the reception area down to the radiation section was always plastered with great (and often twisted) cartoons. They were frequently updated, so I always made it a point to try to read as many new ones as I could on the ride each day -- sometimes even the small diversions help.

Cathy

Hi Lawrence,

Your friend is so fortunate to have a friend like you! I have been on both sides of the battle and I honestly believe your role is the toughest. You will find exactly what you need when you need it most. Be sure and take some time just for yourself to keep recharged as this journey will take it out of you often.

I am wishing you the best and sending you the warmest thoughts!

Ed

Hello Lawrence

What a wonderful friend you are. Like others, I found laughter and a positive attitude helped me enormously. I decided that if I happened to be living the final phase of my life then I wanted to have the best quality of life as possible. For me, talking about how I felt etc with others was therapeutic. Mind you some days it was a whisper and the laugh was a most peculiar sound!!

I found visualization during my teatment of a healthy throat also helped my attitude.

Let us know how you are both progressing, love and light from Helen

Minnie,

I told people that it sure is good that I am such a healthy person, else I would never be able to fight two separate cancers in one year. Actually, I don't see what is so funny about it, it is true, isn't it?

I have tried my best to keep a "healthy attitude", and to think of myself as a healthy person with a disease I have to deal with, rather than giving in and being a sick person - even if it was hard when the radiation sickness was at its worst. Fortunately, my family was able to help me there by living their life and giving me stuff to think about that had nothing to do with thrush and brown phlegm.

Leena

Lawrence, welcome to the site. Sorry you had to find us, but hopefully we will be able to help you and your friend. The journey you are starting will be a very uphill battle. I got through it by a lot of prayer and stubborn belief that I wasn't going to let this thing beat me. So far, so good. It will be one year after the end of rad/chemo on 2/27/05 and no sign of any additional cancer problems. A positive attitude is also very helpful. Good luck to you and your friend.