I thought It might be helpful for us to tell what we can still do post treatment! If I was a new cancer patient it might relieve some of the fear.

I can still sing.
(and I joined our church choir, something I had put off for years)

I can whistle again!
(not quite as well as before but it is coming along).

I can eat anything!
(although for practical reasons I don't eat saltines, popcorn {unless more than 90% butter}, and superhot spiced food.).

I can still speak with mostly perfect enunciation!
(too bad for those people whom don't agree with my positions in politics and stuff :p ).

I can physically do virtually anything I did before treatment!
(But I am getting older and so I may choose not to chase down my 16 year old son lest he find out I can't catch him anymore).


There was a time during my treatment when I wondered if any of the above things could be done ever again. Some things came back fairly quickly, others much slower (in fact are still getting better.)

What a great idea for a thread, Mark!

I can only add that patience is needed for some things. I was really excited last week when one year after the neck dissection that affected the range of motion of the same side arm, I discovered that I have miraculously regained complete range of motion and strength! And I also remember the turkey wattle that completely disappeared at 6 months. And I can now whistle for my dogs just like before. I ran for a couple of months just to prove that I could, then quit for the same reason I did when much younger -- bad knees. But I can run if I want to!

So take note, all who feel bad now. Life gets better and in some cases so close to how it used to be that the differences don't matter. Right, Mark? Who needs popcorn anyway?!
Joanna

Well, I guess it`s time for Packer`s caretaker to jump in here...Caretaker is a word I truly hate, makes me feel like a groundskeeper! We haven`t been on the board lately, Packer`s been recovering from surgery 7......As far as what packer can still do..well...let me tell you first what he can`t do........he can`t talk, sing, whistle,or, last, but not least, eat....for those of you who don`t know Packer`s story, let me just say simply, he`s had the whole lower part of his face removed and rebuilt as well as possible...peg tube will be in for 2 years in August as well as permanent trach.......I have always felt blessed to be a part of his journey...we keep our lives as normal as possible, in 5 years, I`ve only seen him cry once, when he was first diagnosed........Is he disfigured? Damned right he is, he knows it and I know it......I protect him like a mother wolf, but unfortunately, not well enough, after all he`s been through, with more strength and dignity than I`ve ever seen, something happened yesterday, that I can`t repair....I asked him last evening, why he was so quiet....I know he can`t talk, but, I simply don`t notice that anymore..........he was out walking the dog and a car full of people yelled "HEY,FREAK" If anyone knows how to fix that, let me know, cause that tore us both apart, there were no words I could say...we are way beyond worrying what he can or cannot eat or whether one scar may show and we deal with it.....but, bottom line.....the real world does see him as a freak and that truly breaks my heart for him....reality 101

Just remember that those who behave this way are small minds, but are self aware enough to know inside that they can see little good or positive in themselves. They spend their lives overcompensating for the void which they know lives in them. Coming from that position of internal weakness, they find that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to find someone to vent their facade of "being better than " on. Remember that the true freaks in our world are those who are incapable of the expression compassion and understanding, which are core human virtues. Given what you have expressed as your spiritual beliefs in the board in the past, you are obviously aware of the cyclical nature of all things. These people will one day find themselves exposed and open to a similar experience. No human goes through this life without trial. It is the people like your husband who give us all inspiration, and a model to look to when adversity finds us. He is the living example of

To Packer's "caretaker" - What Brian said about "no human can go through this life without trial" sums it up perfectly. These people who made that cruel remark obviously have not gone through any serious adversity - and yes, there are a lot of small-minded people in this world who just don't understand or care to show compassion - unless it happens to them or someone they are close to. There is no excuse for any adult in this world to act like that. Ignore their selfishness and realize that your husband is doing so much good for a lot of people by his example of courage and strength in the face of this horrible disease. Your husband may be disfigured physically - but anyone with eyes to see beyond physical appearance, can see that he is truly an inspiration for all who are suffering from oral cancer, and that makes him a beautiful person inside - where it counts! God bless you both and take care always.

Dear Packers,

You are bigtime winners they are bigtime loosers.

You have achieved what they can't comprehend.

You have your heart, mind and soul. They have little if any.

You are recognized by the depth of your beauty. They by their infinite ugliness.

You know what kind of people will respect you, they get none.

Compare the pain you have healed from, with the pain they don't even know they are suffering from.

I pity them, I hold you in high esteem.

Joanna,

I'm so happy that you can do those thing again.

I hope others leave a note or two about the big things and the little things (that are really more important to our sanity than we thought). That have returned after treatment ends.

It lightens the load and brightens the day

I can still watch my 14 year old daughter play in her basketball games!

Hi, I was glad to see Dee post but not what she posted. Oh, I know how Packer feels, he was doing what he loves , to walk his dog and someone ruined the day for him. This hurts, you feel like someone punched you in the gut.I have heart people say stuff as they walk away from me, or they just stare. No one ever did what they did to Packer but you go along happy at your successes and try filling you life more with good things and someone drags you back and says its really ugly out there.There is a man that lives in the small town I live in who has a purple face. It is a birth mark, he has no other problems, He lives alone and rides his bike all over town. I have heard people make fun of him.He has lived his whole life this way.I think for most of my life I was normal, this poor guy never was. Also, some posts are confusing at points to those of us that have major physical problems, the neck thing , I keep hearing everyone complain about the neck, scars, waddle, I have been cut on both sides and I would go and look and wonder why they are so worried about it? Well my skin and jaw was hanging low on my face then, they then put support tissue in and put new jaw replacement in and angled it level like it should be, I turned my head by the mirror the other day and thought "Oh crap, what will I ever do about that?"It is terrible! I had so many problems before I never thought this looked bad. I look like someone had a sword fight in front of my neck.So every problem is big no matter what level.It comes back to where this post started what I can still do, the real big one is, if your reading this your still alive, after that the rest is a gift.

This cancer thing is all about growth. It has taught me, even more so, that you must appreciate what is on the inside rather than the outside. It is unfortunate that we meet people that haven't grown to a point of being kind and looking beyond what is seen.

To all those who have suffered from insensitivity, "I admire your courage."


MJ