It's been awhile since I have posted anything. The last time I was on here was 11-14-02. Since then, things really went downhill. My mom received horrible news on that day that she might not make it through the holidays. Well, the good news is that she did (only after chemo treatments that almost killed her). The bad news is that she passed away on January 20th, 2003 at 7:36 am. That has been the worst day of my life. She was only 62 years old. I miss her more than words can say. She was told on Januray 17th that she had 2 weeks to 2 months to live & hospice was called in immediately. Little did we know that she would go in 2 days. We had just talked over funeral arrangements with her the night before she died. She had all her kids with her & after the funeral talk, we sat & had a wonderful visit with her. There were lots of tears & hugs, but it was good for all of us. I am so alone without her around. It gets a tiny bit easier every day, but it is SO HARD. I sit at the cemetary & talk to her. It has been so cold here though that I can't stay long, but it is so hard to leave her. She is my hero. She has been through so much & hardly ever complained about anything. I don't understand how she did it, between the surgery, the radiation, the chemo, and everything else she was put through, she rarely complained. All I can say is please show your love & be there for them when they need you. Be a constant source of support for them. It will help not only the patient, but yourselves as well. God Bless ALL!!!

Veronica,

So very sorry to hear about your Mom and the pain you are going through now.

As you said it gets a very little better as time passes, but that doesn't help now.

Wishing you the best, and please know that I'm sure it was special to your Mom to have your love and support throught it all. That probably is what helped her have the strength that you witnessed.

God bless,
Dinah

Veronica:

Condolences on the loss of your mom. Please keep checking in with us and letting us all know how you are doing.

Wishing you peace,

Kim & Dave

Veronica: First of all i want to tell you that I am new to the forum. My husband was told he has mouth cancer and he is going though all the tests that have to be done. I have reading all of the other messages that I can to learn more about what my husband is going to go though. As for your mother I am really sorry. It will get easier for you, I know. I lost my mother to diabetes 12 yrs ago. I still think about her everyday and I still wish she was here with me and watching her grandkids and great grandkids grow up. But I know she is in a much better place and is no longer in any pain. I still feel her when I am down and I know she will be with me though all that my husband goes though. She is in my heart. If you ever need to vent please feel free to e mail.

God bless, Cindy E

On behalf of all of us at OCF I offer our sympathies. We are sorry for your pain, and your loss. The experience of mourning, is an extended journey. Three things are fundamental to mourning. First, each loss we experience launches us on an inescapable course through grief. Second, each loss revives all past losses, their memories still reside in us. Third, each loss, if fully mourned, can be a vehicle for growth and regeneration. I hope that at the appropriate time you reach that point of growth and regeneration.

Thank you to all for your continued encouragement. This site has been an absolute blessing to me since I found it. I have learned so much. I just spent my first holiday without my Mom & it was tough, but I am thankful to have a 5 year old daughter to keep my spirits up. I think sometimes, the youngest people can teach us more than we ever imagined. She has been a great source of support & encouragement for me & I hope when she is older that she understands that. Again - thank you & I hope that one day we can conquer this awful disease. I'll be back to hopefully lend an encouraging or thoughtful note to someone.