As some of you who have read my posts know, I have completed my chemo and radiation for a base of tongue tumor and neck nodes. I was very " up " from the diagnosis right up to last week when treatment ended. It was the next week, sitting around the house trying to recuperate that I began to get depressed.
Well today I called a social worker at MD Anderson and she referred me to free individual counselling through a non profit called " Cancer counselling" and also to a men's group that meets once a month near my home. I am looking forward to attending both and to seeing if this will get me feeling better.
I will let everyone know how it goes. I cannot imagine that it won't help to some extent.

Danny

Hi Danny:

I applaud the step you have taken to explore resources that might prove helpful for you to feel better. It strikes me as I read your posts that you may be grappling with the sheer reality of the process you have just completed and are now thinking about the magnitude and meaning of what has happened to you in the last several months. It is likely that when you were consumed by treatments you had a schedule and a focus on getting through those daily and didn't really have time to see and feel th emotional side of this experience.

Now, you are minus the schedule and that sort of leaves "you and you" to look each other square in the eye and examine how your life and thinking may have changed from having a cancer experience. My take is that I would be more surprised if you DIDN'T have a swell of turbulent emotions at this time. You have been through a huge, life-changing event in diagnosis and treatment. You simply cannot be the same person you were before cancer came into your life.

The task may be now to reframe where cancer sits for you in your mind and your life. Dave has said he prefers to view cancer as a message from his body that he needs to honor having to do with lack of balance inside his system. He prefers not to think of it as an enemy or horrible entity. In short,I am saying that you may be working in your mind to find a way to integrate the cancer experience into who you now are and that is causing you feelings some of which are not comfortable. I also think it might be helpful to just sit with the feelings a bit and listen to what the message is...
How are your family members doing at this point? Do you feel supported? Tell us more about where you are at with work and daily activities.

Once again, you aren't alone and it's very brave to say your emotions are wreaking a bit of havoc.It is also brave to like and embrace the new strong person you hav become.

Pulling for you,

Kim (and Dave from his Post-op bed still with trach-if he could talk yet I'm sure he'd echo these words too)

Packer`s wife here, couldn`t agree more with Kim..........Packer lost his voice, and he`s had several people, including our shrink, that he`s an excellent writer.......he`s still dragging his feet, about it all..........another thing our shrink told us, there is always a gift in everything that happens to us............sure is hard ti find sometimes.......myself, I consider the fact that I can care for Packer a true gift...like Kim said, sit and try to go within.....you`ll find answers........Peace and Prayers

Sorry, I didn't see the replies to my earling message until today. I am doing much better. By the time that I went to my free appointment with a psychologist last Friday, I was feeling good and don't even feel the need for more counselling at present.
I finished radiation treatments approx. 3 weeks ago for a tumor at base of tongue and neck nodes. I do go in to the office a few days a week for a couple of hours and that has helped. Also I take a nice,energetic long walk through a beautiful neighborhood near my house each morning. At first I guess I was sitting around the house too much and needed to get more active. I am divorced and live alone, but have a lot of support. My high school kids live ten minutes away as does my girlfriend. I have my mom, sister and a ton of friends who check on me all the time, and I am very mobile as I have no problem driving.
The problem when I felt bad was that nothing was enjoyable...a movie did not sound good, putting golf balls at the park did not sound good, visiting a friend did not appeal, and for sure eating another meal out of a drip bag did not turn me on!
However, with a little time, everything is better and I feel better. Thanks for the interest and support.
I wish the best to all of you and your loved ones who are recovering at the moment.

Danny G.