Hi, I saw both my ENT and Plastic surgeon last week,they are ready to do more reconstruction surgery on me.To recap,2 years ago stage 4 cancer,about 3inches or more of jaw bone removed, lining of mouth, very small piece of tongue.moderate lymph node surgery.Had fibula free flap, failed , did metal jaw and took skin from shoulder to cover.Bar( thats my chin ) has an infection. This will be removed from the outside,I will need a PICC line for antibotics and after 3 weeks infection should be gone and I go back and ENT and plastics team will take tissue from my left arm to line my mouth with, vein maybe from wrist up( If test show this vein not good may take vein from left side of neck).Of course skin graft from left leg( have two on right leg)My ENT doctor noticed right away that I am not my usual self about this, and said I need to get in a better frame of mind before we start this.I have to do this, but when I think about it I feel like I have a heavy weight on my chest, It is so hard to start all over again.On top of it all it could fail.I guess I am just tired, anyone have a good recipe for me to get myself up again and as my Dr. said in the right frame of mind? gnelson

Hi Gnelson,

I am so sorry that this seems to be 'never ending' for you. Since I am a caregiver, not a patient, my input will be different. I'm sure those in the same boat as you will offer other suggestions.

As difficult as it may seem, I guess I would say that you need to look at the positives. You are a 2-yr survivor of a stage IV cancer, which in itself is an accomplishment. You have surmounted many obstacles and will continue to do so. I think it's understandable that your "frame of mind" might not be the best after this recent set-back and I think the doctor could have shown a little more sensitivity to this-but then if the doctors did what I thought they should, we've have a better system of care (grin).

Don't know what if anything you have done in the past to handle these set-backs but I strongly believe in using anti-depressants if necessary and talking to a counselor. These are extraordinary times and you sometimes need to use extraordinary means to help you get through. By extraordinary means, I'm talking about things that one may not consider under "normal" conditions.

Keep your chin (no pun intended) up and tell yourself you CAN do this. We'll be rooting you on!

Best wishes,

Cynthia

Yep, keep your chin up, actually, I`m still waiting for mine, can`t seem to get a surgery date..if you find that magic potion to get in the right frame of mind, let me know...actually was pretty insensitive of your doc..........also, would suggest antidepressants, if you`re not already on them, I finally gave into them about 6 weeks ago, for PTSD, from all this crap.......they don`t make you happy, but help you to cope, I`ve had my trach and feeding tube one year today.....but where, oh where, is my chin??? Hang In There!!!

The endless medical 'stuff' is very tiring. Sometimes you feel like going crazy. I didn't have to go thru the same surgeries as you are doing, so I was hesitant to post. For me, I tried to sleep my troubles away, but that didn't work. I became pretty good at denial, figuring that I'd leave tomorrow's worries in tomorrow. I'm still using denial as a coping method. However, it's hard to forget stuff when you have permanant hardware inserted in your body. I would thank God in my prayers when I'd have a certain amount of time (couple hours) without a medical thought. Good luck and pray for a resolution that you can live with.

Hi, Thanks guys, I am working on positive thoughts, I am not on any antidepressants, but if this surgery fails I better be on something! Well Packer 66, I actually have 3 chins, I could spare you one. They took my old chin and pushed it to the side(my plastic Dr. calls it a witches chin) The second is the piece they took from my shoulder to cover the bar with, the third is a piece of skin in a smooth bump that they will need to reconstruct. It doesn't look as bad as it sounds. I guess I am in denial. if I don't look in a mirror, I feel like me! I guess I will have to suck it up, as my son says. No pain no gain. But it sure isn't easy . gnelson :rolleyes:

O.K. it`s a deal, mail me a chin........I`m still waiting for a surgery date for mine, so just send one along.........does it ever end?? Right now, it`s a salivary fistula deal, that has to be opened twice a day with a q-tip.......been there, done that on right side last year. You`re right, looking in the mirror is a real adventure!!! take Care :rolleyes:

Gnelson,

I haven't begun to go through what you have, but I can tell you that your frame of mind may have low points every once and a while, but you always seem to pull yourself up by the boot straps (can you tell I'm from Texas) You are always on this board to offer encouragement and support to people.
Just reading your posts helps me, because I figure if you can jump on and help people after all that you've been through, I can too.
How much help am I - I don't know but I believe it helps all of us knowing there is a place we can say the things we could never say in front of our family and friends.
So keep that spirit that has you on this board helping others. Cause I'm one person that you and others have helped.
Take care,
Dinah

I am so sorry for your never ending time right now. My mom just had the same operation not even 2 weeks ago. I know we are so lucky for everything going in our favor, for right now. All I can say is that my prayers are very close to you. Just keep your chins up! (haha) One thing we have found to help during all of our ups and downs is to really try to look at everything with the lightest of heart. Try to keep on laughing at everything you can, even if you are the butt end of your own jokes. Keep us updated. GOOD LUCK!!!!
Stacy