We had a good week-end here. My son came in from Va. so that really cheered my husband up. Hubby changed a kitchen light for me,went to lunch at my moms and even went to Radio Shack with my son!!! So I was Thrilled. Still eating dinner every day. I made pancakes for breakfast this morning before my son left,and he even had one with some OJ. I couldn't believe he could drink the juice with out wincing but he did. Than he asked if I was happy he ate. I said of course. and he said well if I don't eat you make a face. You just can't win. I would think he would be so happy that treatments are over and he is doing so well. A smile now and then would do wonders for me. I told him you should try to see this from my side and he said "What about from me". I just shook my head. I just don't get it sometimes. YOU do every thing possible for their benefit and get no response. It is exhausting being a caregiver. I told him sometimes just one kind word goes a long way. He gives me one of his looks. Lord, give me strength! I told him I am on chapter 30 of my book "If the cancer doesn't kill you , your wife will!" I just want things back how they used to be but I know things are changed. Enough about me rambling on. I am ever so gratefor for his great progres, now if I can just work on his attitude!!!

Here is a well deserved smile for you, LJ:
You have done an amazing job of giving such excellent care to your husband. And you have helped him make great progress, too! Some people just can't express their feelings or appreciation in any great measure. You can't make a person feel or do something they are unable or unwilling to do. A tender look, a smile or a touch can go a very long way, to be sure but until it comes from the one close to you, just know that there are lots of us here sending you virtual smiles and hugs. OR, you could hire a "nurse from hell" to replace you for a week so you can take a vacation and take care of YOU.

Thanks Ann-Marie, I needed that. You made me smile! LJ

Went to the dentist yesterday for my check-up(everything was ok) and was asked how my husband was doing. To make a long story short the dentist asked if I would be interested in speaking at a presentation he is doing for the local high schools in our area on smokeless tabacco. I yes YES in a heartbeat! These young kids have no clue what can happen to them. I told him to make sure he has pictures and uses a lot of graphics with a personal story because unless you put a face to it.The info won't really mean much to the kids. He then asked if my husband would mind sharing his story, I wasn't sure and mentioned it to my husband when we got home and he said he would think about it. I really wish he woud speak to them I think it would do him so much good. But everything in its own time... Keeping everyone in my prayers. LJ

LJ,

Remind your husband that if someone like him had spoken out when he was younger maybe it would have saved him from all both of you just went through.

Your correct those kids don't have a clue and they think their immortal but he he just saves one, that would be worth it to me.

LJ - I think it would be great if both you and your husband could do the presentation, but if he is not ready, I certainly hope that you do it. Have you seen the pics that "Outdoor Texan" has on his website? It's at http://www.outdoortexan.com./mycancer.htm They are very impressive. Kids really are not aware of what could happen to them and a wake up call from someone with direct experience could be a lifesaver for them and their families especially if you have pics or other visual aids relating to the treatment like a Radiation mask, etc.

I do have his radiation mask yet. I was wondering how long to keep it, and now I know what to do with it! Thanks for the great suggestion. I have seen the pic of outdoortexan. Those would be good to use. They are very graphic and make you take a breath! I will do the presentation even if my hubby can't yet.

We are doing better each day. We go to the MO on Monday and hopefully he would like to start back to work parttime on Aug.1st. I think that would be such a milestone for him. I told him I am so weary from all the worry that I want our life to get back to some kind of normal. He said he wants to get on with his life also. So that is a positive note. I am encouragin him to eat more each day. But he says nothing taste like he thinks it will taste. So we just try new things. He wants to try some baked fish tonight for dinner. So we'll see how that goes. He is still tired and sleep 3-4 hours during the day. So hoping he can gain his strength back day by day.

LJ,

Good for you for finding a way to help others! When is the presentation?

Had our MO appt. today. Everything is looking good. We don't have to return til 3 mons. YEA!! Dr. said he can remove his peg anytime he wants. I know hubby is anxious to remove it but I am worried he won't keep hydrated or eat enough. He lost 2 lbs. But Dr. said that is normla when cuting back on the feedings. We are down to 3 cans from 5. So I know this will be a trmemdous boost to him emotionally and mentally. The Dr. shook our hand and told us to get on with our lives!!! Asked about the tiredness and lack of energy and was told it will come back slowly. So for now we are greatful and he looks forward to retuning to work soon and maybe taking in a Steeler Game!!!

This is great news for you and Tom LJ. Tell him we will have to meet someday and share some "war stories". Also, let him know I appreciate him talking to me about what to expect with my incision. Hes a great guy and I know he may not act like it all the time but there is no doubt in my mind that he appreciates everything you do for him.

Billy