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Joined: Sep 2021
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vnoel Offline OP
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Joined: Sep 2021
Posts: 6
Likes: 2
Hi everyone, Feeling very overwhelmed and devastated right now. The last month had been such an encouraging one in terms of my husband's recovery and rehabilitation. He has been eating solid food, speaking, and able to enjoy life for the first time since all this began 8 months ago. Hints of normal family life were returning, and we were both so grateful to have that time. And then last week the first PET 3 month post treatment showed two nodules on his lungs, one on each side. We were completely blindsighted, and took this very hard of course. Wednesday we met with a thoracic surgeon and two days later (today) he had surgery to remove the easier/smaller of the two. Pathology confirmed cancer, and they are guessing it is metastatic, although that can't be said yet until the full pathology report comes back. Everything is so new, we don't have a treatment plan yet, but it sounds like it will probably be offered chemo or immunotherapy and then time to heal followed by a larger surgery to remove the 2 cm tumor that is central in his other lung. It is all surreal. He did well with the first surgery today (I just talked to his hospital nurse this evening) and if I focus on that I feel stable and okay. But of course it is very hard not to let my mind roam off to the larger picture and all the unknowns of this new and what feels like infinitely more complex territory (as if the first round of this wasn't enough!). Add on that his white cells have never returned to normal levels (hovering just above neutropenic for months). His surgeon told me it was the healthiest lung he's ever seen--I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry. The concept of a "curative path" kept me grounded through all the hellish things he had to face, and now that that's fallen by the wayside I am trying to find a new way to frame this so that we can keep moving forward and not be sick with fear. This is all so cruel. I have been gathering strength and wisdom reading through this forum the past month. Thanks very much for that.


Caregiver for my 34 yo husband, diagnosed with SCC of tongue in 2/21. Had glossectomy neck dissection, and tongue reconstruction with tracheostomy and feeding tube placed 4/13/21. Tumor diagnosed as Stage IVb, followed by 33 RT and 3 rounds high dose cisplatin concurrently. Last treatment was end of July '21. We are parents to two small children and appreciate the support.
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 342
Likes: 6
Platinum Member (300+ posts)
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Platinum Member (300+ posts)

Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 342
Likes: 6
hugs to you.


Spouse of 58 yr old with BOT cancer
Stage 4a HPV16 positive
3 chemo treatments cisplantin
35 radiation treatments 7000 cGy
former smoker/chewed tobacco for 38 yrs.
1/2020 diagnosed with cancer near TMJ
4/2020 chemo 5 days every 2 weeks
6/2020 proton therapy
9/21/2020 cancer free

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