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#197885 02-20-2019 10:05 AM
Joined: Dec 2018
Posts: 6
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Joined: Dec 2018
Posts: 6
Hi all... Im 48, taking care of 71yo mom with BOT SCC. She is living with my husband and me for the forseeable future, as the Cancer Center is less than a mile from our house, she needs care, and she's the sweetest & easiest person to care for.

She's 10 radiation treatments in to 32... we didn't expect this severity of sore throat so quickly. She's got the magic mouthwash & the salt & baking soda solution. Today she sees the radiation oncologist, and we've got to find something additional for pain management. She can't swallow her Tylenol #3. Im hoping he will give her some liquid Norco or some such. Maybe those lozenges? Ice packs on her neck while eating seem to help a little...

This morning she told my husband that she's not sure if she can do 20 more of these treatments. (Im so glad that she can talk to him and that they have such a warm & loving relationship!). I told her that, while at the end of the day it is HER body and I will support her no matter what, we all want her to be well and to be with us for a LONG time. I reminded her that she only has a MONTH to go... what's a month compared with her 72 years? She apologized for being upset and making me upset... I asked her to never apologize for that. I am HERE and I will be sad/angry/scared WITH her. This is the suckiest thing she's ever been through. She is allowed to feel HOWEVER she feels. My poor, sweet mom.

I've been lobbying for friends & family to send her cards or notes... she's said she "will take any support I can get", so Im trying to make sure she gets that support.

We are just so sad for her.

KellyK70 #197886 02-20-2019 02:46 PM
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,275
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Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)

Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,275
Likes: 7
I’m sorry your mom is feeling down. It’s truly no fun to be going through radiation and the patient is well aware of the “decline”(temporary) that their body goes into when they compare Day 1 to Day 10. For sure, she will need pain meds and if she continues to feel down and sad, let the doctors know so they can prescribe some anti-anxiety meds. This is also about the time that fatigue sets in. At this point in his treatment, my husband would only get up to go for treatment and, as soon as we got home, he would go and lie down and not do anything, even though I had put all his favorite shows on the iPad for him to watch. The lack of strength makes their days seem to be filled with treatment, treatment and more treatment. It is very tough. Is she feeding well? If her intake is sufficient, it will be easier for her to get through this period. So, do monitor it. It may help to tell her to take one day at a time and not to fret about the next day or next week. She just has to focus on one day at a time. It will be helpful if your hospital has pastoral services. Your mother may benefit from getting some support from them.


Gloria
She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails... Elizabeth Edwards

Wife to John,dx 10/2012, BOT, HPV+, T3N2MO, RAD 70 gy,Cisplatinx2 , PEG in Dec 6, 2012, dx dvt in both legs after second chemo session, Apr 03/13 NED, July 2013 met to lungs, Phase 1 immunotherapy trial Jan 18/14 to July/14. Taxol/carboplatin July/14. Esophagus re-opened Oct 14. PEG out April 8, 2015. Phase 2 trial of Selinexor April to July 2015. At peace Jan 15, 2016.

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