#18941 11-11-2005 07:04 PM | Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 261 Gold Member (200+ posts) | OP  Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 261 | Gonna have annual PET, MRI, CT scan next month or whatever my ENT orders. It's hard to believe it's been that long. I truly hope all are doing as well as I am. I have not posted in a while, just lurking & most of the time feel almost guilty for doing so well compared to some others here. My mom died 2 weeks ago. She has been ill all my life & the last 6 months to a year or so she has been just miserable. Complications of diabetes finally got her & we agreed with her to just let her go. 72 years old. She did not want to fight anymore. I think back on her life through my eyes & have to give her credit for her will to overcome & the health issues she has dealt with. Her endless health issues & long list of major surgeries even surprised the professionals. She is at peace now & no longer has to fight just to go to the bathroom or overcome fear of falling or insulin crashing & ending up in the hospital one more time in an endless fight just to be some what normal. I'm rambling, but with my own health issues over the last couple of years & coming to grips with my own mortality & now burying a parent for the first time I feel so much more compelled to live life to the fullest & be the happiest I can be. Life is short & I intend to enjoy myself! There are still things I can not eat very well, but most things I can. Tonight I am drinking rum & coke with fresh squeezed lemon. I do not drink that much, but the rum was a bottle found in my mom's kitchen that had obviously been there for years & I got a lemon seed stuck under my free flap! At least I can still get a buzz on by choice & not cause I'm trying to numb some pain like last year during treatment. I am rambling now. To all who are new to the boards, I do wish you peace & serenity & a new appreciation for life as long or as short as it maybe. Glass half full or half empty? I hope you all choose full! Erik
dx 2/11/04 scca bot T3 IU 2B MO poorly differentiated, margins ok, 3/16 modest, jaw split, over half of tongue removed, free flap from left forearm - finished chemo & rad treatment 5/20/04
| | |
#18942 11-12-2005 05:38 AM | Joined: May 2003 Posts: 928 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: May 2003 Posts: 928 | Erik,
please accept our condolences on the loss of your mum.
Pete`s favourite drink was also Rum&Coke with lemon but only on very rare occasions does he even try to drink it.
A toast to your mum is a very special occasion.
Now we wait with you for these bloody old test results!
Take Care
Marica
Caregiver to husband Pete, Dx 4/03 SCC Base of Tongue Stage IV. Chemo /Rad no surgery. Treatment finished 8/03. Doing great!
| | |
#18943 11-12-2005 09:43 AM | Joined: Jan 2005 Posts: 156 Gold Member (100+ posts) | | Gold Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2005 Posts: 156 | hi eric, please accept my condolences on your loss ,and good luck with your test results ...god bless ...maz | | |
#18944 11-12-2005 03:15 PM | Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,676 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,676 | Eric, hope you will post at least once a month your message to "live life to its fullest" Why is that so hard for us to learn to do? Sound like your Mom was a strong, brave lady and taught you something aboutliving.Amy
CGtoJohn:SCC Flr of Mouth.Dx 3\05. Surg.4\05.T3NOMO.IMRTx30. Recur Dx 1\06.Surg 2\06. Chemo: 4 Cycles of Carbo\Taxol:on Erbitux for 7 mo. Lost our battle 2-23-07- But not the will to fight this disease
:
| | |
#18945 11-12-2005 03:34 PM | Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,384 Likes: 1 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,384 Likes: 1 | Good to hear from you Erik, Sorry amout your mom. I wish you many good memories.
Mark, 21 Year survivor, SCC right tonsil, 3 nodes positive, one with extra-capsular spread. I never asked what stage (would have scared me anyway) Right side tonsillectomy, radical neck dissection right side, maximum radiation to both sides, no chemo, no PEG, age 40 when diagnosed.
| | |
#18946 11-13-2005 12:49 PM | Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 | Hi Erik,
Sorry to hear about your Mom. It is difficult to lose a parent, but sometimes when they decide it is time to go, it is easier to allow that than to watch them suffer. She is at peace now and hopefully you are too. It's that way for me and my Dad.
Good luck on those scans next month and drop us a post on the results. Keep that glass half full all the time regardless of what's in it.
Take care,
Eileen
----------------------
Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III
mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad
Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND
June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer
June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I
| | |
#18947 11-14-2005 10:51 AM | Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,244 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,244 | Erik
I lost my Dad in March and my Mum at the end of September, my Dads passing was sudden, but my Mum had cancer and she died in my arms with me telling her it was OK. Well was it OK? As you know it sure doesn't feel OK.. Like you I didn't want her to suffer BUT that fact alone doesn't ease the pain we are feeling now, I suspect it is a selfish pain, BUT the pain as you know is very real... I just trust that in a few months we can view it with more compassion and understanding..
May your God walk with you...
Sunshine... love and hugs
Helen
SCC Base of tongue, (TISN0M0) laser surgery, 10/01 and 05/03 no clear margins. Radial free flap graft to tonsil pillar, partial glossectomy, left neck dissection 08/04
| | |
#18948 11-14-2005 11:03 AM | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 | Erik,
I am sorry to hear of your mother's passing. Even with a life of health issues and the impending end in sight, I know nothing will ever prepare us for the experience of having so see someone we love so dearly leave this world. I am praying for comfort and peace for you during this time of grief and saddness.
Ed
SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023
| | |
#18949 11-15-2005 06:09 AM | Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 261 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | OP Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 261 | Thanks all! Selfish? Yep! She got what she wanted & I got stuck with the bill & all the responsibility of handling almost everything, because my sister is so lame! I would do it over & over for my Mom, but having to do it because sis is such a loser just pisses me off! Sibling rivalry? Maybe. I know I'm not the only one here with lame siblings, but it just irritates the crap out of me that I have to hold sis' hand through this while she does nothing & it all seems to be about her loss & what is she going to do without my Mom around. Grow up is what I say! OK, just venting. Erik
dx 2/11/04 scca bot T3 IU 2B MO poorly differentiated, margins ok, 3/16 modest, jaw split, over half of tongue removed, free flap from left forearm - finished chemo & rad treatment 5/20/04
| | |
#18950 11-15-2005 06:12 AM | Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 382 Likes: 3 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 382 Likes: 3 | Erik,
Prayers sent to you across the Sound on the passing of your mom and for good test results next month. And a toast to you for being a caring and thoughtful son. From your posts on the board we know she taught you well and her spirit goes on. - Kris
SCC Stage IV left tonsil neck disection 3/02 radiation finished 6/02 chemo finished 9/02
Stage 2A left breast cancer 3/09, chemo and radiation, finished treatment 2/7/10 -Stage 2 right beast cancer 10/14 chemo and radiation
Every day is still a gift :-)
| | |
| Forums23 Topics18,242 Posts197,125 Members13,311 | | Most Online1,788
Jan 23rd, 2025 | | |
|
