I was told by a doctor that the amount of Gys given during treatment was not really thoroughly scientifically tested or proven. They told me that 70gy or ~35 sessions with ~2gy/session was about the maximum limit the human head and neck area could take without serious complications. The fact that it is so hard to do any sort of clinical trial with dose deescalation, has made it impossible to test what the optimum level of radiation is. HPV+ scc's relatively high survival rate has made it possible for some clinical trials to be investigated on dose deescalation for the HPV+ subset of cancer patients. I was in one of those clinical trials.

My recovery is ups and downs like they all are, thanks for asking. I think I am doing very well. My PEG was taken out last week so I am eating all on my own again. I have had my first post RAD PET/CT scan and the docs didn't see any C.
I have family here for support Mom, Dad, Step-Mom, and a sister all live within 30 miles of me. I usually had a family member stay with me during chemo week and my Mom would stay occasionally through treatment, she stayed 3 days my last week of RAD, I was weak and needed the help to get to appointments. Due to all of us underestimating the recovery process she went to her vacation home in Alaska the week after I finished my RAD, the next month was the hardest but I got through. It took me a while to admit I was having a hard time and for my Mom to book a flight back but she came back Aug 3rd, a little over two months after I finished treatment and that was the week everything turned around for me and I started feeling better. I didn't always have people here with me during treatment but I always had family and friends just a phone call away.

I was very much like your husband. Every pain med they gave me made me nauseated which is just about the last complication a H&N patient needs during this Tx. I finally decided to stop all meds. I lost 30% of my total body weight and was also admitted to the hospital twice and had to visit the ER 3 times. The last hospital stay my wife was told when I was admitted that I was hours away of dying had she not convenience me to agree to go. So trust me I KNOW what he's going through BUT that doesn't make his decision to stop his treatment any more valid.

The one thing all of us learn after being on this site for any length of time is you must treat this cancer as aggressively as possible and as our docs say "throw the kitchen sink at it the first time" in order to have the best possible outcome. They wheeled me down on a hospital gurney to get my last radiation Tx. I was so sick and weak I kept my eyes closed the whole time.

When I was acting like an idiot and refusing to go to the hospital my wife finally screamed at me "OK then just lie there and die!". With that she left the room and didn't return for what seemed to be an eternity. By then I realized how stupid I was acting and agreed to go. Please do not give in to him. You have to be the strong person as we say the nurse from hell sometimes and this is definitely one of those times.

LMC, my heart goes out to you, the role of a caregiver is very tough. To say I was not popular with my husband during parts of his tx would be an understatement...I cannot even count the number of dirty looks he gave me. My tag-line was "you can be as angry as you need to be at me and the situation...just get it done". Now, one year later, my husband is deeply grateful for everything I did for him, including pushing him, hard.

My advice, now is not a time to ease off, no matter how hard it is. Push him. I used everything I had (do this for me, for the kids, for your Mom...just do it!) With this kind of cancer, your first shot at treatment is by far your best shot at a cure. Throw everything you can at getting him through the complete treatment plan.