Precisely... ;o) If your terminal, or like my dad - have lost the will to live and in pain - it makes sense (he was bed ridden, with no chance of going home ever as my stepmom couldn't handle him alone or even with a nurse's help). He had had a severe stroke followed by a broken hip - courtesy of the rehab center he was at - The stroke was first and he was recovering enough to go home with a wheel chair and very independent - but he fell two weeks before he was due to be released and from that point on it was downhill. His speech, ability to eat, outlook, all of that was severely compromised as they had to change his anticoagulants to operate and he had another small stroke. Then they sent him to a complex care facility to try and get him up to rehabilitation standards - and they were brutal there. He ended up malnourished and dehydrated, and wasting. Up to that point he had no dnr so when he came down with pneumonia they first checked ( content to let him die if he had a DNR rather than provide basic medical care ) if he had a DNR then sent him to emerge - he improved remarkably at a regular hospital. After he was released and sent back to the facility they asked us to sign a dnr, we did - not a good idea. I had told them repeatedly when he returned from emerge, that he still had pneumonia - I heard the distinctive rattle and I was only with him one hour a day - they were with him all the time and were content to do nothing - they finally called the dr. at MINE and my stepmom's request - but I was told NO he didn't have pneumonia. Less that a week later we insisted he have a chest xray. and sure enough the day he died - literally 15 minutes after - they came to us with the results - he'd had severe pneumonia. They were idiots, and the care pathetic. They chose to let him die rather than treat a basic illness. A DNR means no extreme life saving measures. basic medication is NOT an extreme measure, just basic care. It's like saying ooops - he cut himself shaving but he has a DNR so we'll just let him bleed out...

urg... sorry
still pissed I guess, it was only a few months ago.
hugs all

Nursing homes can be brutal! I was in a critical care unit for three months, nearly died from dehydration, c-diff, kidney failure. My brother had to call 911 to get me to the hospital when the facility doctor said there was no need, and tried to convince me I was ok. Staff could not even put in an IV. I was in the hosp for 20 days as a result, and was then was supposed to go back lol. I went home instead. Some doctors said I would probably die otherwise. I did better at home.

Sorry for your loss.

Yup! totally agree!

Well, Linda is improving every day. The ventilator is gone and she's just getting oxygen from a blow by tube. She's scheduled to get a peg on Saturday so the feeding tube can come out of her nose. So gratifying to see her progress, from critical 2 weeks ago to where she is now is huge. She's one strong woman is my Linda.

So very happy to hear of Linda's progress David. I agree - she is a strong woman and going forward as she learns of the cancer recurrance she will need to use every bit of that strength. You remain in my prayers. Hugs to you both.

Donna

That's a step forward for Linda. Sending you positive thoughts.

Prayers are with you and Linda, David, and hope that things keep improving every day.
Julieann

Sorry to be late to the gathering, but please accept my best wishes for a positive outcome for your courageous bride, David2!

Bart

Paul, Cheryld and anyone else experiencing this kind of treatment, my advice is based upon the fact that facilities run like the ones you've described should not continue to be in business. They do more harm than good.

The minute you encounter such obstructionism/incompetence, raise hell. Not with the miscreants who are the problem, but with the licensing bodies, the local politicians and the local Press!

Put these people out of business, and do it ruthlessly. You'll be doing humanity a big favor.

Thanks Bart, but when you are near death, it's not a top priority, and only thought is death, it's true, not mentioning not even able to lift a phone, write, walk, communicate properly. I sold say the patients frame of mind is the same. I doubt none would do it now, definitely not in my past, nor would I stand for it, but took my lumps, and could have gone after legally if I wanted, winning is another story. I'm choosing my battles, and energy to fight cancer. I would say the same to someone what you're saying now, but not at that time.