| | Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 128 Senior Member (100+ posts) | OP  Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 128 | hello, i became a part of this website a couple of years ago, and i will say that i really have met amazing people and gained so much knowledge and support.. my dad lost his battle to this horrific disease on july 19,2012.. the last time i seen him was on father's day, july 17, he was in so much pain.. he was just out of his mind with the disease and the medications.. he just would not let go.. i told him happy father's day and he just put his hand up, like wow today is father's day.. he asked me to scratch his back.. i did and told him i would be back later with the girls, his grandaughters.. needless to say we did return later that day.. monday my mom said he was up walking around, not knowing what he was doing.. she called the hospice nurse and she came out at midnight, now my father was just put on hospice the day before father's day.. mom gave him something to relax him monday night.. she checked on him tuesday, the 19th, he was warm and breathing.. around 11 a.m., nurse came back out, checked on him, walked out of room and told my mom he was gone!! mixed feelings? absolutely! no more suffering but wow this has been a hard 3 weeks.. his last dose of Erbitux was may 30.. i miss him so much.. i am not only having trouble with the loss, but with the fact that he suffered and fought so hard.. i feel that he was forced to let go.. he finally relaxed enough where he could let go.. i didnt get to say bye.. i was very close to him.. took him to all his treatments.. those were our days together.. not much but i was happy to be there with him.. Cancer is horrible, ORAL CANCER! ugh unreal! thank you all for your support and creating this site.. i will be on often.. i think this will help.. sorry for babbling.. much love nicki
Last edited by nicki74; 07-12-2012 09:13 PM.
Dad-55 yrs..2/2010-DX/March 2010-Induction Chemo/35Rads 7weeks concurrent with chemo once every 3weeks/6/2010-Treatments completed-October 2010-Recurrence/December 2010-salvage surgery/clear Margins/July 2011-recurrence/weekly Erbitux treatments-5/30/12, last erbitux..
Painfree and rested 6/19/12
| | | | | Joined: May 2010 Posts: 135 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: May 2010 Posts: 135 | Nicki, I am so very sorry for the loss of your Dad. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hug!
Aunt diag. 2/4/10 with SCC Stage I/II on left side of tongue. Surgery 2/19/10 part. gloss./neck diss. on left side/free flap from chest muscle. TI/II,NO,MO. Clear margins with perineural invasion. Started rads 4/8/10 - 35 treatments, finished 5/26/10.
| | | | | Joined: May 2012 Posts: 114 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: May 2012 Posts: 114 | Nicki,
I am so sorry to hear about your father. Losing a parent is devastating, no matter what age. I lost my mom to this dreadful disease less than 3 months ago so I know what you're feeling right now. I can relate to your feelings of having trouble with the fact that he lost the battle no matter how hard or long he fought. It is a horrible feeling, not only of loss but of defeat. Please continue to come here for support. Some days for me are harder than others, but coming here often helps as it is a community that understands like no other.
Please accept my sincere condolences. I will be thinking of you and your family as you work your way through this sadness.
Amy
Amy CG to mom Janet - diag w/ early SCC 8/11-surg w/ rad neck dissect & graft from arm/thigh 9/11-evid in nodes tx 6 wks rads (5/wk) w/cistplatin (1/wk for 6 wks) began 11/11-wk or 2 break 12/11 due to severe side effects-done 1/12- 3/23/12 mets to liver lung bone-hospice 4/7/12-lost fight 4/22/12
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 | Nicki, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved father. I know you were very close and did everything you could to help him with his battle. He fought long and hard. Your father knew how much you loved him. You were with him every step of the way which shows your devotion.
I hope you will one day be able to look back and see happier times and let that bring you some comfort. May he now rest in peace.
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive  | | | | | Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 128 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | OP Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 128 | Thank you all for such kind words :-(
I will continue to visit this page for a long time and hopefully help offer support to those who are knew and/or have lost a loved one to this disease.. i am also going to volunteer at a cancer center near the house.. id like to give back and help others...
much love and thanks!
nicki
Dad-55 yrs..2/2010-DX/March 2010-Induction Chemo/35Rads 7weeks concurrent with chemo once every 3weeks/6/2010-Treatments completed-October 2010-Recurrence/December 2010-salvage surgery/clear Margins/July 2011-recurrence/weekly Erbitux treatments-5/30/12, last erbitux..
Painfree and rested 6/19/12
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2011 Posts: 596 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2011 Posts: 596 | Dear Nicki,
I'm truly sorry for the loss of your father. One thing for sure is that he knew how much you loved him through your care and devotion. Sometimes, something as simple as a good back-scratching can provide so much physical and emotional comfort.
It's hard to accept not being able to say good bye. I know how you feel on that one. His suffering has ended and he is in pain no more.
Grief is a process that none of us likes to face and it always takes longer than we would like it to. I wish for you and your family moments of peace, joy, and comfort during this time in your lives. It takes a while, but it does get easier...sometimes two steps forward, one step back...but that's okay. As you said, may you find comfort in coming back to these forums. Please feel free to lean on us and help others when you feel you are ready.
With much love and care,
Kerri
37 y/o fem at Dx (23 wks preg @ dx on 3/16/11)
SCC L oral tongue (no risk factors)
L partial gloss/MND 3/28/11 @ 25 wks preg
T1-2N0M0; no rads/chemo
Tonsillectomy on 8/6/12 +SCC L tonsil T2-3N1M0 (HPV-)
Treated with 35 rads/7 carbo & taxol (Rx ended 10/31/12), but many hospitalizations d/t complications from rx.
Various scans since rx ended are NED!
Part of genetic study for rare cancers @ MGH.
44 years old now...I wasn't sure I would make it! Hoping for 40 more!
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 128 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | OP Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 128 | Hi Kerri,
Thank you so much for your post. July 19, has been a year already and I just cannot believe it. I could not help but seeing that you are only 37 years old, and delivered a baby boy just over a year ago? God Bless you Kerri! I have never met you, and probably never will, but you are an amazing person in my eyes. I could not imagine your fight and finding this news out while pregnant. I will always have you and all the others on here, in my thoughts and prayers..
xoxo
nicki
Dad-55 yrs..2/2010-DX/March 2010-Induction Chemo/35Rads 7weeks concurrent with chemo once every 3weeks/6/2010-Treatments completed-October 2010-Recurrence/December 2010-salvage surgery/clear Margins/July 2011-recurrence/weekly Erbitux treatments-5/30/12, last erbitux..
Painfree and rested 6/19/12
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 |
Young Frack, SCC T4N2M0, Cisplatin,35+ rads,ND, RT Mandiblectomy w fibular free flap, facial paralysis, "He who has a "why" to live can bear with almost any "how"." -Nietzche "WARNING" PG-13 due to Sarcasm & WAY too much attitude, interact at your own risk.
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 128 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | OP Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2010 Posts: 128 |
Dad-55 yrs..2/2010-DX/March 2010-Induction Chemo/35Rads 7weeks concurrent with chemo once every 3weeks/6/2010-Treatments completed-October 2010-Recurrence/December 2010-salvage surgery/clear Margins/July 2011-recurrence/weekly Erbitux treatments-5/30/12, last erbitux..
Painfree and rested 6/19/12
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