Hello Everyone,
I have been visiting this site for about three weeks now and finally am ready to post. I'm a 41 year old mother of seven daughters, two grandaughters, happily married, diagnosed with stage 3/4 squamous cell of the lower left jaw. This was found when I had a tooth extracted on Dec. 31st, although an official diagnosis wasn't made until April 1st. Surgery on April 16th, my jawbone was removed and replaced with the small bone in my lower left leg. I also had a neck disection, left side. 15 lymphnodes were removed, the one sitting beside the tumor in my jaw showed microscopic signs of cancer. I was in the hospital for 11 days and came home feeling like I had been to war. I started radiation 5 weeks later and finished on July 15th. I would do the surgery 10 times before I would ever do radiation again. I finished and I am slowly starting to heal, but it was a horrible experience for me personally. I am one of the most optimistic people around but it was rough to maintain that optimism with the radiation. I still use my peg tube but am slowly starting on some soup, etc.
My biggest struggle came when my treatment was finished...........all of a sudden I felt fear that I hadn't felt up until that point. I started looking at websites and the statistics were so dismal. I talked to my surgeon about it, he is the absolute best, and he explained it to me like this. He said that a statistic can not have everything to do with me as not everyone included in that statistic was exactly like me. He said to take the statistic, add to it that I am young and in awesome health, add that all my margins were clean after surgery, add that only one lymphnode high up on the neck showed any signs of cancer, and that mine was shown to be well differentiated, and my "statistic" number shot way up there. So, that is how I got past the severe depression I worked myself into by reading statistics. I still have my moments where I hear my nine year old holler for me, MOMMY, and I worry that she won't be able to holler for me in a few years BUT.........I do my best to push that thought away and go give her a big hug. I believe that my doctors know what my best shot is and they feel I will live to be an old woman.........they are at Sentara Norfolk General Hospital and teach at Eastern Virginia Medical School......they also use the tumor board approach. The skill and compassion this group of men used to help myself and my husband through this speed bump in our lives is barely short of amazing. They say I owe my dentist my life, as he was quick to send me to the oral surgeon. Mine was found at a late stage, but still at a stage that could be cured as it was in a spot that allowed removal of the tumor. Three and a half months later I look almost exactly like I did before, with scar on my neck that I don't even try to hide. Only my mother would be able to tell something had been done to my jaw, it looks wonderful. So, is there anyone else out there that had their jaw removed??
I like this site as it offers so much information and answers for all stages of head and neck cancer.

Hello Minniea,

Welcome to OCF and what a great positive story you tell. I can see you have been through a lot and still you are looking at the up side of this cancer. Good for you.

There are many people on this board that hit the speed bump of depression you hit and I am so glad you came of it. Hopefully you will continue to post and help others on their journey.

Again welcome and hope to "hear" more from you.

Take care,
Dinah

Minniea,

Isn't it interesting how rough surgery sounds and how benign radiation sounds. I did not have any surgery, and I was very brave, almost cocky going into radiation treatment. Of course it did not take long for the radiation to put me in my place, and, as I have written here before, it was when the radiation ended that I hit my lowest, most depressed point.

I can remember getting up, doing a tube feeding in the morning, and thinking...."what do I have to look forward to... besides another tube feeding at noon?" My most comforting thought was that I had enough vicodin tablets that if things became unbearable, I could dissolve them in water, inject them into my feeding tube, and put an end to my misery.

At that point I called the social worker at MD Anderson and learned about free counseling,I started taking a long walk every morning, made sure that friends dropped by to visit, and that I had at least one errand to run a day to get myself out of the house. It all worked and within days I was no longer depressed and feeling pretty darn good.
I feel good enough now that I took 3 teenagers last night to a big outdoor rap music concert!

I have no experience with jaw surgery, but it sounds like you are doing really well!

Take care,
Danny G.

Hi,Minniea, Welcome you have found the best place to be at this time the people here are very supportive.I know what you mean about the radiation its a horrible ordeal we all have to go through ,but what would our chances be without it?You will get better and better every day, it's a slow process but you will get there. I look back on this last year now with amazement,fighting this battle with cancer can make you stronger than you ever thought you could be.Hang in there and we are all here if you need encouragement. Gwen

Hi, I looked at your post and thought there is a lucky woman. Your jaw flap took! I had stage iv Cancer coming up 3 years in my right jaw. They removed it and the flap failed 10 days later. Do not let that scare you, yours is good to go, if they fail it early . I now have a titanium bar for a jaw bone. It works well, I can eat and talk quite well. I have had 9 surgeries and I have an appointment 8/12 to set up some plastic surgery to make the chin area look more natural. You did really great with your surgery. My Doctor told me about the same thing yours did. If you read some of the back posts you will see a lot of long term survivors with late stage cancers.Everyone who has had Cancer always has it in the back of their mind that their may be a return, but you cannot let it rule your life, enjoy your family and take one day at a time!

Thank you to everyone for the wonderful responses to my post. My family and I are still coming to grips with all of this and each positive statement helps so much. I cooked my first family dinner last night since my surgery and it was awesome, all the kids were here, did my heart good. Our three oldest girls live on their own now, we only have four left at home, so it's hard to get them all in the same room at the same time lately.
I'm sorry to hear that gnelsons implant didn't take, we worried that mine wouldn't but it has been perfect so far. My face, other then under my jaw where I still have some swelling, looks as it did before......minus a few laugh lines on the side of the transplant. A one sided face lift is what I call it, as that side is so smooth, haha.
I thought of something today while riding home from a meeting at work. I was feeling sorry for myself, doing the "why me" stuff, wishing for my old life back. Basically having a pity party for myself. I thought about a tragic thing that happened in our fine city about a month ago. There are beautiful churches on Shore Drive here in Va. Beach and lots of young people get married there. One of the wedding parties was leaving the church for the reception with the limo carrying the bride and groom leading the way. The mother of the bride pulled out from the church parking lot and a car hit her, killing her instantly. That young bride saw her mother killed, on her wedding day. And what struck me the most is that the mother that was killed didn't get a chance to fight for her life, she was given NO options, no chance to say goodbye or prepare. So, no matter how bad our life situation may be, there is always someone whose is worse. Just my thought for the day! I feel very fortunate that I get a chance to stay here with my childen and finish what I have started. Wow, never thought I would say that I felt fortunate in all of this.
Hope everyone has a great day!