Well, guess it's time for an update. I asked my MO for Procrit, as my anemia wasn't resolving. My electrolytes are almost back to normal, Calcium low normal, Magnesium is still low. I started back to work yesterday, working 1/2 days (5 hours.) I was exhausted when I got out of work.

Mom is now home with Hospice. She had been in the hospital with pneumonia. She isn't eating, and has refused food now for about a month....she's still taking water, but very little. The bone mets to her leg seem to be causing the leg to turn black (it looks like a giant bruise.) We're giving her liquid morphine every 2 hours. I try to spend the afternoons and evenings with my dad...give him a little respite. He is so totally lost. It just breaks my heart.

The anniversary of my sister's suicide was Halloween. It was a difficult day, with lots of tears. We just got done with a year of firsts from my sister's death, and now we'll be doing it again when my mother dies.

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer. I know I have a lot to be thankful for....my Dad, my friends, and all of my caring, supportive and generous co-workers.

I will be having a followup with my ENT this afternoon. I will also be getting my blood work re-checked (make sure I'm still moving in the right direction.) I'll let you know how everything goes.

Kelli Jo

Hi there... sorry to hear about your mom, hopefully she's in no real pain, and I know it's painful to watch your father suffer. Hugs to you, with all you've been through, you've been a great support to your family during you're own difficult times. You really are an amazing person. I know returning to work is exhausting, I too am back at it. Thankfully I am a perky turkey. Not sure why but I am. I think it may be diet related as I am avoiding all sugar and white bread and eating as healthfully as possible (though I do have a soft spot for ICE CREAM!)

Anyway, spend your time with your mom of course and your dad, but maybe do something nice for you too. Go out and do something you enjoy, see a movie, take a yoga class, shop, go for a massage. It may brighten your mood a little and even if you do one thing a week it will be something to look forward to. If you have home care for your mom, then maybe you and your dad can leave for a quick dinner out. Just some family time.

You need something bright in your life. I'm sorry again about the loss of your sister, hug her mentally and let her go. It's a burden you are carrying that she may not have intended.

Good luck on the follow up. Hugs again!

I hope your followup went well. You and your family have had way more than your fair share of troubles lately. It sounds like you are a great support for your father. I sure hope you have someone giving you some support as well.

Hi!
I perfectly empathathize with the agony you are going through. It is tough to see parents suffer. It's same with the parents, they can't see thier children suffer. The least we can do is to be with them, and let them know that you are going to be o.k no matter what. You are dealing with too many things. I admire your courage. Take care of youself,
smile, even when it breaks your heart to do so.
swati