I am going to become known as the nut in this group. Seems I have such strange issues. I have never had panic attacks, until I was bolted to that table 34 times. I really thought it was all behind me then I am watching TV and there is a flash of a girl in a small cage, even writing about this is making me very uncomfortable. I have obcessed on and off all week, with not panic attacks, but strong feelins of ??????. Not even sure how to describe it. Even putting one of my dogs in a crate causes me discomfort. Does anyone else ever have this happen and if so does it ever go away???

No I've not had that happen but I totally understand - it sounds almost like a post traumatic stress situation - and make no doubt about it this treatment is traumatic! I think if it continues to go on - talk to someone - maybe a counselor - but I do think it may ease - if its a recent thing. And this place is an open forum - no one will judge you take care!

First of all, you are NOT a nut. In fact, you are a courageous person for taking steps to take care of your health and coming here to talk to us about how this Tx has affected you. As Cheryl mentions, talking to a counselor would be a good thing if this keeps happening. Do you have a family doctor that you could start with in telling him what's happening? When these bad feelings/thoughts come up, you can give them a time limit to actually recognize what they are doing to your body and to give them compassion. And then choose to lead your thoughts to more positive activities. I like what Jill Bolte Taylor ("My Stroke of Insight" p.150) says in similar situations: "I am in control of how I choose to think and feel about those things". Then she goes on in talking to her brain cells with: ". . . I appreciate your ability to think thoughts and feel emotions, but I am really not interested in thinking these thoughts or feeling these emotions anymore. Please stop bringing this stuff up." Or could could just say "Stop" or "Cut the Crap!" And be forceful in directing your brain towards the positive stuff, maybe starting with some deep breathing or vacuuming or whatever makes you feel better. You have been through so much but have come through it with very encouraging checkup results. You deserve to be compassionate and gentle with yourself and do whatever you can in getting yourself to a good and happy place!

Strong feelings of dread by any chance??

This sounds as Cheryl says like a bit of post traumatic stress. At least you have connected the dots and realised the discomfort you felt over image relates to your radiation therapy experience. I have no idea what to do about it other than echo the thoughts of Cheryl and Anne Marie but at least you have a starting point with a counsellor.

You are also not alone in your "nuttiness". Alex also suffers sort of flashbacks which can be brought on by all sorts of stuff incluging smells and sounds. This is his manifestation of PTSD.

Whilst I am 99% sure you are describing a form of stress associated with what you have been through, it wouldn't hurt to keep in mind that feelings of dread or anxiety can be hormonally driven and reflect fluctuations of hormone levels. Don't know where you are on the menopausal continuum... or maybe your rads have fried something that is causing this? Just a thought...

Thanks guys. I know this isn't hormones. I know it is related to the treatment because I had never had feelings like this prior to and it feels the same as when it started which was during treatment. If it continues I will talk w someone.