Hello! I want to to thank the people who responded to my last post,I appreciate it more than you know.and I'm sorry I didn't respond to your replies yesterday but I figured I'd wait till today when the biopsy results were explained to us.

Well today he had an appt with the Chemo Dr, and it wasn't good.We were told that the cancer had returned,and we are very upset & confused. when he had his surgery in July I was told by the surgeon that it was a clear cut and all of the lymph nodes were removed. Today they said it's a lymph node.They said that it was not curative.
They offered us 3 options.#1) 2 chemos/2rad a day for 4wks,1 on 1 off.(they said that they don't suggest that because of him being so weak). #2) 1 chemo a wk for 1 hr with Paclitaxel to maintain it. #3) Palliative or Hospice care..

We are destroyed over this news and not sure of which road to follow.If anyone out there has any input pls help us, I can't lose him.We have wanted nothing more than to start a family and enjoy life and then we are confronted with this.Pls someone out there pls help us we really need it.I also have another problem my in-laws have not spoken to my husband since he's been home from the hospital and my mother in law is so nasty to us, but I feel I have a moral obligation to tell her.Can someone give us some input on this situation also.

Well, next week we have to take his Ct Scan films with us to the dr for a final descision on what to do.I can't bear to see him suffer anymore, he's 37 y/o and I'm only 27 y/o we haven't even begun to live our lives and now we are faced with the most horrendous news you can get.Pls give us some input on this matter in order to make an educated descision we have no where to turn and all of you on here are very supportive and we need it right now.I'm so very depressed I feel like my dreams/life are over.

Thank you

You have not been dealt a very good hand with this situation. I am not that familiar with all that you have been through, but have you considered getting in touch with another doctor and seeing if there is some other course of treatment besides what the oncologist suggests?

As far as your in-laws you can keep them informed. However, with the situation being as serious as it is you shouldn't have to deal with their crap. Tell them they are welcome if they are there to support their son and you during his illness. If all they want to do is cause strife tell them to stay away. Who needs their junk on top of all the other stuff you have to deal with.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I would consider a second opinion too.......I had surgery in sept and tumor returned next to carotid this time.....I had more surgery.........Our Prayers are with you.....don`t give up yet.......Packer

I got good biopsy news today. I had ultrasound and needle biopsy in suspicious neck node today, and yeah! It was just scar tissue and dead cells, no cancer!!
I should celebrate, but frankly, have the blahs. This stuff can get you a little down even when the news is good. I am thankful for many things this Thanksgiving and hope that by next Thanksgiving I can eat a real meal.
Best holiday wishes to everyone.

Danny G.

Welovesammy, PLEASE get a second opinion. We have had someone post on this form who had the cancer come back three times, who is fine now. And please do not consider giving up as an option. We are here to support you every step of the way. Now is the time to fight! VB is right about your inlaws. Tell them, but don't put up with anything but supportive behavior. If they cannot be nice, just tell them to get lost.Joanna

Lenore........You must get a second opinion and also ask about any trials that may be available for your husband. You're right, you do need some emotional support and I would encourage you to either contact your local chapter of The American Cancer Society in hopes that they might have some support groups that would benifit both you and your husband. Another option would be to discuss your emotional state with your physican. I know that physicans should take your emotional state into mind right now, but that isn't the way it seems to work. Unfortunately, you'll have to advocate for yourself when it comes your mental health right now. You've just been dealt an incredible blow --you do indeed need someone to talk to. Does your place of employment offer any such mental health services? That may be a route to look into too. Just find someone to help you through this horribly bad time. Do not go it alone---this is just to much for any one single person to take on by themselves. And you do have us folks here on the board; we care Lenore and we're here to help any way we can. Please don't quit sharing and please don't give up hope. Let us know how things progress, OK? Sincerely, Donna

Just got my SPOHNC newsletter and there is an article on clinical trials. Their web site, spohnc.org list trials and has info. Additional info is at cancer.gov and clinicaltrials.gov or by calling NCI at 1-800-4cancer.

You two together can fight this. As far as family they will join the fight with you when they find out the seriuosness of what's happening. If not, don't waste that fighting energy on them. At a time like this - they're either with you or against you...and right now you two are one.

Take care,
Dinah

Dear Welovesammy

I just wanna say, i know what you are going through. We received the 'bad news' about a week ago w.r.t. my dads oral cancer. To make matters worse for us is that we did get a second opinion. The original surgeon didnt know what more he could do and so he referred us to another surgeon.

It is hard... it is sooooo hard to go through this sometimes! If there's any advice i can give you, then it is take one day at a time. that's all i can manage for now. If i have to think into the future, it just hurts a whole lot.

But keep the faith and be strong always.

Darshana

Sorry to hear about your sad news someone sent me this I dont know if your religous but you have to fight and keep the faith.
Ray
Proverbs 3 - 5, 6,
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
lean not to your own understanding
in all your ways acknowledge him .
and he will direct your path.

Philippians 4 - 6.

Do not worry about anything
instead pray about everything,.

Sorry to hear the results we are waiting for the same results about my husband to. He sees the ENT on Thursday and there is suspicious for residual or recurrent neoplasm it is along the tonsillar pillar near the the juncture oropharyngeal wall. they want us to have a biopsy and a visual inspection of of the region there is thickening of the muscosal and partial opacification in the inferior left maxillary antrum which was noted on multiple prior studies they said the biopsy would rule out if this is the recurrance of Cancer we have gone through MRI Ct Scans and Pet scans all in the month of November and the Pet scan was still lit up so they do not know if more Cancer is present or that the Chemo and Radiation did not get all of it and there are live cells, we went to the Onocologist and she did not like the sounds of his Lungs and he has a Nodule on the upper groin area just below the hip bone so she had him do a CT scan from the Lungs to the Pelvis area and we are waiting for that test in the mean time we will go to the ENT and have him tell us if a Biopsy is warrented after all these test or what. I know how hard it must be for you your husband is very young my husband is 55 with wonderful grandchildren and a wonderful daughter I do not know what I would do in your case but maybe a second opion is the answer and maybe talking with your pastor or another well educated person on Cancer options or Clinical trials would be the solution unfortunately only your husband can make the decision that is what mine has told me over and over. I will put you in my prayers and maybe you need to pray that your inlaws will give you a little time to figure things out or maybe they too are scared and do not know answers and that is why they are causing undo controversy.