I was putting down my thoughts on this question which appeared in another thread but then decided perhaps this topic deserved a new thread....... here is my reply to that question about quality of speech post treatment:

I have had two surgeries and about 7/8th of my tongue has been removed. I have a prothesis attached to my denture to help me speak, but I cannot wear it all the time because it is heavy as anything and I do not have the bottom teeth to support it. The bottom teeth (aside from the front 8) were pulled befure/during and after radiation. I am on disability. There is no way I could do my former job as, aside from still suffering from debilitating fatigue, my speech is not at even a part of a reasonable standard to be working. I do not answer the telephone - unless it is one of the few people I know who DO understand me and even then they cannot - depends on how tired I - and my tongue are . My computer is my lifeline for communication. I could get a machine for the hearing impaired to use with my telephone but I have decided not to as I could/would get lazy about talking and even after a day or so of being mostly quiet, I feel my tongue stiffen up so I know I need to exercise it daily. And all you guys can save your women and talking jokes!!

Still, between what speech I do have and charades (which my children say I suck at!!), I get by. We deal with what we have to and move on. If I ever do try to talk to a stranger a very large percentage of them believe I am deaf, and let me tell you I have great sympathy for deaf people. Once someone thinks I am deaf they stick their face RIGHT UP CLOSE TO ME and mouth the words in a very exaggerated fashion with the volume turned WAY UP. I know people are trying to be helpful, but it is almost comical how many humans react!

Good times

Donna

Oh Donna! I never knew you had such a problem. I am so sorry that you suffer from issues with your speech. This may sound very silly to you, sorry. Have you been to a speech therapist? I went to one for only a few visits and it was very helpful. Gosh I wish I could wave a magic wand and make all of our disabilities vanish.

Donna

Yet you are quite articulate on OCF. My speech impediment is not as severe, probably because I can wear my palate drop prothesis which clips into grooves cut out of my upper incisor teeth. But I can empathize. I was a "silver tongued devil" before TX, and while I no longer am mistaken for a stroke victim, sounding like Elmer Fudd is not much better after over a year of speech therapy.
No, I'm not mute, and I shouldn't be complaining when others have lost their voice entirely. Heck, I wanted to retire anyway so it's not like your situation either. But I had hoped I could do some speaking & consulting. That's why Dr. Brook's stories about conferences which had him as a speaker for years dropped him and not one place he did give a speech with his post cancer voice ever had him return struck me.
What I'm trying to say Donna is that the hard sad truth is even if people could understand you better, they'd still be biased and treat you poorly. It's a wicked world we live in. Yet I know you can rise above it. Plus voice calls are soon to be passe, supplanted entirely by Tweets, texts, & emails. On the Internet, no one knows you have a speech impediment.
Keep the Faith
Charm

Alex's speech impediment is very minor and in fact I barely notice it. He hates it though, as he was taught to write and speak quite formally, with all the slightly archaic rules of sentence construction.

One thing I have noticed is that people look to me to continue the conversation and the worst offenders are the nurses (or maybe it is that the worst consequences are when it is the nurses). They treat him like his IQ is affected too!

This was partly the subject of the complaint I made back in June/July when the nurses' unwillingness to talk to Alex as well as ignore his attempts to communicate with them left him with pressure sores, critical weight loss and surgical emphysema (air from a chest tube went into his tissues instead of his lungs causing him to blow up like the Michelin Man). Part of the resolution to that complaint included a directive that the nurses should ask Alex how he was feeling at every observation and LISTEN to the answer. How sad that such a directive needed to be written into his notes. I hasten to add this was NOT the oncology crowd but the cardiothoracic staff (Alex called the ward Jurassic Park).

This doesn't help your situation Donna except to let you know that to us you speak very well.

PS A little off topic
prejudices and preconceptions abound - my mother complains that one day people stopped serving her in dress shops. We think it was because she let her coloured hair grow out to her natural grey hair. I have also heard that overweight people are ignored more often than ideal weighted people.

And look at poor old Charm who used to be a silver-tongued devil...now he is just a devil (haven't forgotten the Ozzie kissing reference Charm)

Please don't get me wrong here. I was speaking about MY speech in response to someone else's post. I was not just flat out complaining - THIS time!! We all deal with the side effects of this disease as best we can. Often I have thought that God had an excellent sense of humour for me to have two cancer attacks on my tongue - the irony would be equivalent to a marathon runner loosing a foot. I did have the gift of gab, but perhaps for this portion of my life God wanted me to be a better listener ('cept here). Truth be told, on February 19th it will be 7 years since my 1st diagnosis and at the end of this month it will be 3 years since the end of my treatment for my 2nd cancer. Given what I see alot of people going through here - I've been fairly fortunate.

I have exhausted all the resources of the speech pathologist. She has taught me how to swallow, eat and speak as well as possible. (I've done REALLY REALLY well on the eating part ). I have done every speech exercise known to man and they believe that I have done fabulously, given my limitations. I do have the resources of the speech pathologist available to me whenever I want, but haven't seen her for awhile.

Day to day - I do what I can. My dog thinks I speak his language as he leads me to the Milk Bone box - and everyone understands a hug.

Luv you guys.

Donna

If you had to communicate the single most important thing the speech pathologist taught you, what would it be?

And who here thought Donna was complaining? not me

Our speech pathologists teach swallowing and eating as well as speech so I would say that swallowing would be number 1.

With regard to speech, the MOST important thing was for me to pause. As I have to sort of "pre-think" what I say to finneagle my tongue around, pausing gives me time to say the next word. No one notices the pauses, which I find odd.

They also stressed to me that a huge percentage of communication is not in the actual words said, and they helped me use various hand gestures for some words I cannot say. And, for some words - well - that ship has sailed. An example is the word "saddle". For me - that will forever be a "horse chair"!! I do what I can.

Donna

come to Australia, the word saddle doesn't come into conversation very often LOL

Never though for even a second that you were complaining, Donna. Not my friend! Congrats on your anniversaries and may you never have to add a third date to the two you already have. Hoping you will celebrate many many more good years being cancer free. Who cares about the word saddle anyway, a horse chair works too

Just want to say that this is one of the most beautiful conversations I have read! Thank you Donna, Karen Charm and Christine!