We learned on Friday that my mom's cancer has returned for a second time (surgery in August 2009, radiation January 2010) and now they are saying it is non curable because it has metastisized to both lung and the sac lining her heart, as well as another tumor on the tongue.

We don't know what to do. No treatment is 6 months. weekly chemo gives us a 40% chance for 1-2 years. Should we be going somewhere else for a second opinion. Not so much on the diagnosis, but on the treatments. If so, where? Or should we just make the most of every day/month we have left?

This isn't going to be a very merry Christmas. She turns 70 next week.

Hi Angie- I am so sorry to hear this. Must have been very difficult news to take.
I don't know that the chemo treatment will be a lot different anywhere else. I think it is important to get her in treatment quickly so that her symptoms are controlled and that you can make the most of your time together.

I know that several members here enjoyed a fairly good quality of life for different amounts of time on palliative chemo which controlled the cancer.


Again, my heart goes out to you. No other cure options is never what anyone ever wants to hear.

Wishing you all the best in a tough situation.

Treasure these days you have together.

KATE

Angie - It is so difficult to get this kind of news. I agree with Kate in that it is important to get the best treatment. How does your Mom feel about her diagnosis? Perhaps she could feel more in control of things if she were allowed to make the decisions based on all the options available? A good friend of mine was in the same situation several months ago, where her cancer had spread to several parts of her body and she had decided on palliative care, against her daughter's wishes which made it difficult and sad for both of them. Her daughter, of course was only trying to make sure the doctors had done everything possible to save her mother which I appreciated because I wanted so much for my friend to survive, too. In the time you have together now, it's important that they contain some of the peaceful, happy moments that you can remember always.

Angie, I am so sorry to read about your mother. A second opion at a cancer center is always a good idea. I dont know if it would change anything with prognosis but it is worth a shot. I hope you can see past this and cherish the time you are together and make the most of your holidays. I cant imagine how difficult this must be for you and your family. Best wishes!