| | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 216 Gold Member (200+ posts) | OP  Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 216 | DH finally had PET ran on Friday...appt with surgeon to go over results tomorrow. Just read CMMoore's posts...my heart is breaking as I have seen this same behavior with my own husband...fortunately we've avoided guns though the mood swings and the talk of suicide has been rampant. At the moment we're in a better place....at least until tomorrow. I'm on Klonopin 3 x daily for 2 years now...DH has been on almost every antidepressant, etc. and can't find something that doesn't make the suicidal talk start up after a few weeks. Say a little prayer for us on the PET....and then say a little prayer for all of us OCF folks...caregivers, patients, relatives...we are all walking a rough road.
CG to H with SCC BOT T4N2cM0 dx 12/19/08, teeth removed pre-tx; Erbitux & RT-done 3/12/09, PEG 2/9/09-7/14/09; ND 6/16. Pet 6/12-no mets except lymph node in neck removed on 6/16. Chyle leak,2nd surg to repair. Dilate esophagus 4/15/10. Clear PET 12/17/10
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 | Cheryl -
Sending special prayers for you and all others walking this oh-so difficult road. Hope the PET results are good ones.
Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 | Cheryl, I am so sorry you are going thru a bad spell. You are such a good person who has been thru so much already. I wish there was a way I could make all of this change for your family. Please never forget you have many friends here to lean on. We are all in this together. Best wishes for a peaceful holiday season and of course good health for all.
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive  | | | | | Joined: May 2009 Posts: 1,412 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: May 2009 Posts: 1,412 | Cheryl I will definitely be praying for you asi do all my OCF friends. I will say a special prayer for you this evening.
Angelia
31 at Dx.
DX: 4/30/09, 10/21/09 SCC on floor of mouth,
T1NOMO, T2N1M0
TX: 39 IMRT, 8 cisplatin 11/30/09
PET/CT: 11/03/09: Lymph node involvement
PEG/PORT: 11/09
TX end: 02/01/10
PET Scan: 04/05/10 clear
PEG Out: 06/21/10
Biopsy: 12/23/10: fibrosis
HBO: 01/04/11 - ORN
Baby girl born 11-30-12
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 216 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | OP Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 216 | Well, what a day....DH refused to go to appt and I said fine I would go and take the damned disks and talk to them myself as I am POA and HCR. So I leave and he emails them basically revoking my right to have his medical info because he "doesn't want me to get bad news and then have to drive home 2 hours by myself". BS - I was so freakin' mad that I just lost it in the doc's office, but hell no I wasn't upset and crying and driving on the stupid interstate for 2 hours because I can't get the info I need. I swear......and swear.......so I've got the disks, they won't tell me anything or do anything, although I gave them an ear full about what's really going on with him and at least got the hypotheticals of what to expect....yippee...I already had that from reading blogs and posts here. Some days I figure I'll just be on the psych ward or in jail. At present we just aren't speaking to each other. Another wonderful holiday season....and people wonder why I'm just not sally sunshine.
CG to H with SCC BOT T4N2cM0 dx 12/19/08, teeth removed pre-tx; Erbitux & RT-done 3/12/09, PEG 2/9/09-7/14/09; ND 6/16. Pet 6/12-no mets except lymph node in neck removed on 6/16. Chyle leak,2nd surg to repair. Dilate esophagus 4/15/10. Clear PET 12/17/10
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 | Cheryl - I am so sorry for both of you! You certainly don't have to be "Sally Sunshine" - In fact, sometimes it helps to just "lose it" and get all that pent up stuff out. I'm sure DH is just reacting to the whole situation himself and trying desperately to be in control of something. Sounds like he really wants to save you from getting bad news and doesn't realize the strength that you do have. I sure am hoping for some better, more peaceful moments ahead for you and DH. Stay close to us here and let us know how it goes.
Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 453 "OCF Down Under" Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | "OCF Down Under" Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 453 | Cheryl I hope everything works out ok for you. These men (mine included) think if they stick their head in the sand it will all go away. Doesn't work that way sadly. Steve pushes me to my limits on doctor days. Bad mood all day and right at the last minute, everytime, he tries to reschedule the appointment, so I can relate to the frustration you must be feeling. Hang in there Cheryl. Your an amazing woman and very much loved by all of us here at OCF.
Wife to Steve 43. DX 5 May 09. T4N2MO SCC tongue, floor of mouth, lymph nodes & jaw bone
No surgery
Teeth removed 06/07/2009
radiation 13/07/2009 x 7wks
chemo 15/07/2009 x 3 Cisplatin
last TX 28/08/2009
25/11/2009 PET-lymph node activity.
08/01/2010 CT Scan-ALL CLEAR
03/03/2010-Peg removed
01/2013 left side of Jaw removed and replaced with pectoral flap.
23/12/2020 scan show lesion in tongue
01/2021 SCC stage 3 base of tongue diagnosed
01/03/2021 chemotherapy started.
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 216 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | OP Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 216 | Thanks gals...I appreciate the kind thoughts. Anne-Marie, you are right...it's a control issue. He feels he can't control anything anymore. He doesn't want more treatment and I don't blame him and don't argue about it and Wendy, you're right it's been head in the sand for a long time. Today is the kicker...we are speaking, but 15 years of sobriety down the drain. Surprised it didn't happen sooner. I think the last straw was loss of bladder control...it's happened before a couple times but today was worse and then it was like "who cares anymore". I know we're in the downhill stretch. On the occasions he bounced back it was never quite as high a bounce and then back down again. Too much weight loss, too many side effects, too many other health issues....
The kids are with their dad for a few days...booted them right on outta here (Christmas break). I'm hoping some peace and quiet and bit of normal (whatever that is) around here will level things out a bit.
CG to H with SCC BOT T4N2cM0 dx 12/19/08, teeth removed pre-tx; Erbitux & RT-done 3/12/09, PEG 2/9/09-7/14/09; ND 6/16. Pet 6/12-no mets except lymph node in neck removed on 6/16. Chyle leak,2nd surg to repair. Dilate esophagus 4/15/10. Clear PET 12/17/10
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 453 "OCF Down Under" Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | "OCF Down Under" Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 453 | Don't you just hate this disease. Even when they are "better" they aren't better. Even when they are "better" we aren't better. The fear and stress continues to linger. I hope this all works out well for you Cheryl, with all my heart. A bit of peace and quiet for Christmas is not too much to ask. Take care xx
Wife to Steve 43. DX 5 May 09. T4N2MO SCC tongue, floor of mouth, lymph nodes & jaw bone
No surgery
Teeth removed 06/07/2009
radiation 13/07/2009 x 7wks
chemo 15/07/2009 x 3 Cisplatin
last TX 28/08/2009
25/11/2009 PET-lymph node activity.
08/01/2010 CT Scan-ALL CLEAR
03/03/2010-Peg removed
01/2013 left side of Jaw removed and replaced with pectoral flap.
23/12/2020 scan show lesion in tongue
01/2021 SCC stage 3 base of tongue diagnosed
01/03/2021 chemotherapy started.
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 | Cheryl, hope you and yoru husband are doing alright. I bet the peace and quiet will do wonders for him. Kids are great but they also take alot of work and make lots of noise. Best wishes for a peaceful few days. Hope you can enjoy your holidays
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive | | |
| Forums23 Topics18,267 Posts197,182 Members13,365 | | Most Online1,788
Jan 23rd, 2025 | | |
|
