My husband and I have been so focused on getting the biopsies scheduled that we hadn't really considered what to tell our four children (ages 17, 14, and 10 year old twins). We had thought we would just wait until the pathology results came back when it hit me that the kids are going to wonder why I have three gauze dressings/bruises on my neck (I know I will have these from prior thyroid bxs.) I'd wear a turtleneck but they'd for sure suspect something since we are in FL and it is HOT and HUMID!!! Our 17 year old already suspects something is up but has no idea what. He has an anxiety disorder as does one of the 10 year olds. The girls (14 and 10) leave this coming Sunday for a week of church camp. I want them to have fun and not be worrying about this. I'd appreciate input from those of you who have been in this spot!

My two girls were just about 18 and 20 when we made the trip to Seattle for the biopsy. They knew what was going on and that it could go either way. I had to tell them over the phone that it was cancer. I had very good friends here that were able to help them work through it while I finished up with the major surgery. It was very emotional when we came home and with time, we all got back to normal.

Maybe you can tell your 17 year old privately and involve him in the process of figuring out if the younger ones should be told yet. That may give him a different task to focus on.

Good Luck, it's a hard decision.

Thanks so much for your advice, Patty. I had not thought about just telling the oldest one. Definitely something to consider!

I even told my grandkids, which are very young but they took it and understood more than we thought they would. Kids are very intelligent.

We told the 17 yr. old last night like Patty suggested. He took it really well and was helpful in suggesting how to approach it with the three younger siblings. We will just tell them I am having problems with my thyroid gland and have to have some tests done. That will at least be a partial truth!

I am hoping the biopsies tomorrow won't be too painful and I won't have to wait too long for results!

That's wonderful! I'm so glad he was able to process the information. They're really smart!

Maybe when we get settled in GA we'll be able to meet for coffee and you can give me the scoop on hospitals to work in.

Good luck tomorrow!

All of my grands were at Ohio State James CCC the day I had my 1st surgery and all came to see me with a smile and told me how scared they were for their Pappy. They even wrote me letters to read after they left. The letters still put tears in my eyes the way kids can use words to express themselves. I want the letters in my casket 26 yrs from now when I go.

Figuring out how and when to tell the kids is one of the hardest parts of this. Our kids are young adults, 24 and 18, but we still waited until we got all the test results back, pet, ct scans, etc. before we told them. That way we were able to give them all the facts and what the plan to fix it was.

Sending you good wishes,
Debbie

Mine were from 3 yrs up tp 16 and each of them understood what the possibilities were. They are above average intelligence and that is why we told them everything. 3 of them take all of the awards at the end of the school year, which I don't think is fair to the others, but they do earn them. No bragging like most do just laying it on the line.

The hardest thing I ever did was tell my young children that I had cancer (6 and 3 at the time) and both had just lost their grandmother to pancreatic cancer a year prior. With that being said...I wouldn't tell them a thing until I knew for sure.