You are correct Liz. Each and every cancer is hidious in it's ownway.

The disfigurement and eating do make it one of the worst to go thru.

I am looking for a hat & shall (like a bee keepers) so I do not offend someone else. I am past my looks,I just like to look people in the eye when I talk, and you can see that thay all "must peek", and that takes away their thoughts and they feel for you.

I will send you a PM about some of the deformaties arising hourly on my face. I want to ask gross questions that you have experianced but do not want to alarm others.

I am almost pretty enough for a leppar colony. And I hate the heartbreak I see in my loved ones eyes as they watch me deteriorate.

Thank God for the medicines. There is no way I could handle this without them.

I am so grateful to have you for a friend. Petey

All cancer is bad, that's indisputable. But we all have to agree that oral cancer carries a very real psychological issue that other cancers usually don't - and that's the fact that effects of the cancer and the treatment are so visible to everyone who sees you, and also the social aspects related to speaking and eating are enormous. I was very happy to participate in some research at MDACC that they were doing on exactly these issues. If I had breast cancer - yes, it's a devastating disease but unless I chose to tell someone they wouldn't know. However, even though my surgery was relatively minor compared to a lot of folks here, I remember how self-conscious I was right afterwards when I was around a lot of people...one instance I will never forget was when we came home from Houston 4 days after surgery, and my husband was pushing me in a wheel chair through the busy Atlanta airport and I was just praying I wouldn't see anyone I knew (I travel a lot in business and always run into people in the airport).

And Petey - I am so sorry you are in the position you are in now - you have been such a friend and supporter to so many.

I went to the relay for life in my hometown and sadly there was no references to head and neck or oral coancer but much about prostate and breast. That could be because of what is treated most at our local hospital ot like everyone has said it could be due to the lack of people with the oral cancers being in the mainstream of such social functions. I'm still considering making the committment to walk the whole time next year to try to bring some awareness to oral cancer.

This is the only website that I found that addressed oral cancer so thouroughly. It has been a great help.

Petey you are a good soldier for the cause. Thanks. I have MS as well and many people with that disease suffer from the same social problems as people with our type of cancer. They are afraid of being judged for their disabilities, ect. My biggest thing right now is everyone want to go out and eat now that I look so healthy. I can't get people to understand that sitting in a resturant for an hour watching them enjoy a good meal while I nibble and drink and pee isn't a bit fun. It is hard for people to understand food without taste, a mouth without spit, or a jaw that has to be stretched before eating a bite. I have not had the surgeries that many of you have so as far as my face, aside from the wonderful tan and the scar on my neck I look ok. A bit lighter but not as sick. I haven't yawned in 7 months. Oh I yawn but I don't get that good finish. :-) It's amazing the little things taken for granted but here's the way I see it. When we wear our real faces with all we've expirienced who cares what others think. I honor those with battle scars.

Another thing that might help is the direct reflection by doctors that we must have caused our oral cancer. First question is do you smoke. For those of us that did maybe but not all of us. I guess because it's oral it's the easiest way to explain it. I share my story with anyone who asks and I do the things I want to do. I fought the battle and I fully believe I earned the right to live my life indoors and out in the world. No bit of judgement will change that. I hope that the recognition not only helps those not affected by this be more compassionate but saves lives for those who know nothing about it.

I have seen posts from time to time here where oral cancer victims of note are highlighted. One of the more recent ones was the movie critic in Chicago (name escapes me at the moment).

I thought I would mention another one who, although rings more of a bell in GA, would also have national recognition to some degree. This would be the now retired coach of the Univ. of GA Bulldogs, Vince Dooley. For whatever reason, there was only slight mention of this in the local Atlanta media around the end of May. The mention was very broad with the only description being that a "malignant turmor" was removed from Dooley's throat. I not seen or heard any follow-up stories about this in our local media.

Just thought I would bring this to light.

Bill D.